arvan's picture

Powerful video from one woman to her rapist father

Submitted by arvan on 7 November, 2012 - 12:27
in

I saw this yesterday and it struck a nerve.  I was assaulted once and she was for years.  Her voice and all voices are welcome here...always.

 

arvan's picture

Is that the royal "we" in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Submitted by arvan on 2 August, 2012 - 15:26
in

"We need to..."

When I see that in a sentence, I really wonder if there is in fact, a "we".  Did some group of any number of people at all (2+...) actually agree that the speaker can / does speak for all parties?  Sometimes there is and sometimes not. 

For the same reasons that one person speaking about another group of people is most likely inaccurate and informed by that person's subjective views, speaking for a group of people is not reliable as fact.

In the times where there is no actual agreement for "we" speaking by one person, I don't know if it helps.  It sounds better to say "we", right?  I mean, if all of "us" think X, then I am right by saying X...right?  That seems to be the implication. 

If this happens, and I'm not saying that it always is the case, but just looking at the times when "we" is assumed or employed without stated permission / agreement (never mind that agreement is not static and people can be halfway through hearing an agreed statement and find themselves in personal disagreement because they disagree with it now), does it end up helping that individual's communication? 

The answer is that it might or might not. 

I can't even begin to list the infinite scenarios of using "we" without prior consent / agreement, but I do want offer it up as a consideration.  Further and what I find value in, is asking myself, what can be gained or lost by stating one's own view as simply that?

The answer to that can lead me to choosing either option.  No single answer here, either. 

In fact, the only solid conclusion I can come to in the question of whether or not to use "we" when stating one's own opinion is that there is no single right answer. 

Considering all of this, I really have begun to question any statement with "we" in it.

Bekhsoos's picture

Bekhsoos: Queer and Feminist Arab Magazine is Back!

Submitted by Bekhsoos on 24 May, 2012 - 07:35
in

One of our main objectives was to keep Bekhsoos operating on a voluntary basis. We resisted seeking funding and forcing achievements. Our aspiration was and continues to be the sustainability of the platform free of any coercion or profit.

The team mainly consists of a bunch of friends, colleagues and some exes and enemies. When the energy is rising, we all push each other up! But when it drops, we all pull each other down… and when we hit rock bottom we fail to see the amount of work we do along with its magnitude. We often tire of our daily tasks. We often forget how awesome Bekhsoos is. Bekhsoos has transcended the boundaries of your average online magazine. It has evolved from being Meem’s baby to a creative global commons, shared by all those who contributed to it by writing, editing, designing, sharing it on Facebook and Tweeting about it but most importantly it creates a sense of belonging among those who read it, interacted with it, felt it, cried or laughed at it, and those who surfed the pages and quickly rushed to delete their browsing history.

Bekhsoos's picture

Call for Applications: 5th CSBR Sexuality Institute 2012 (Deadline May 20!)

Submitted by Bekhsoos on 9 May, 2012 - 02:10
in

The 5th CSBR Sexuality Institute 2012 will be taking place on September 18-23, 2012, in Alexandria, Egypt. Deadline for Submissions: May 20, 2012.

Dear Ann Romney

Submitted by anonymous on 8 May, 2012 - 12:23
in

Dear Ann Romney,


Hello! Recently you have been out in the public telling folks that you understand the struggles of women. Women in America that are not you.That you love the mother that has no choice but to work. Your quote does not seem any better in context. And yet, in your national tour, you still do not understand me.


You and me, we have some things in common. We are both women in America. We both suffer the indignities of living in a culture that is still short of valuing either of us as equals. We are both mothers in a culture that does not value the work of raising our young.

 

Opiate Crackdown... Again.

Submitted by anonymous on 11 April, 2012 - 14:59
in

So the New York Times has written about the newest opiate prescription crackdown. This will come as no surprise, but a deep burden, to pain patients everywhere. Like life with the kind of pain that gets opiate attention is not already hard enough.


I know that my life is not indicative of all lives, and that my experience is not universal. But it is already hard enough, dammit. I already have to schedule, attend, and pay for doc visits I do not need (as opposed to the many I do need) in order to "check in" on my pain script. I have already mentioned several times that it is no longer cutting it, and we are going to have to find something better that still leaves some upward mobility in this area for the rest of my life.

Gimpy Gamer: Leela

Submitted by anonymous on 9 April, 2012 - 23:23
in

Does a meditation game really work?


I just played Deepak Chopra's Leela on an XBox 360 Kinect And I think it works.


Leela is kind of a experiment, in my view, an attempt to game-ify meditation practices. There are sections that are more active, Play, and more introspective, Reflect. Completing levels unlocks new ones, and the ones completed become deeper upon replay.

Dear Bill Maher

Submitted by anonymous on 25 February, 2012 - 08:08
in

she/it

Submitted by anonymous on 22 February, 2012 - 17:02
in

Originally posted on (in)visible

       i've had some time to reflect on my recent positive experience with the word "it" used as a pronoun for me. i've done a lot of thinking and talking about this, trying to make sense of it.

       First off, the context was really important; hopefully this fact is obvious. i was in a conversation with some (self-identified) middle-aged cisgender lesbians. they'd approached me and asked me about the possibility of non-binary genders. They asked me, a decisively visibly queer person, in an incredibly respectful and interested way. One of them said, " When we first saw you, we weren't sure if you were a boy or a girl... and I liked that; I didn't care. I told my partner, 'He's attractive. She's attractive. It's attractive."

       As i was correcting her out of habit, i realized that in that moment "it" felt right. "It" felt right in a way i'd never felt before. i know that the queer people closest to me get my unique and personal conception of my gender but, beyond that tiny circle of folks, i feel that some part of myself is rendered invisible. i'm either a man to people, which is way the fuck off, or "just a woman," or even "just a trans-woman."

plain donuts and the normalization of normalization

Submitted by anonymous on 12 February, 2012 - 21:34
in

Originally posted on (in)visible

       Today at work—i work at a coffee shop—someone asked me for a donut. However, she (i read her as a she, and will own that) didn’t simply as for “a donut.” She asked for “a plain donut.” This is where the challenge ensued.

       Now, i knew exactly which donut she wanted. There wasn’t an ounce of doubt in my mind, and, for the record, i ended up being right. But i have a bone to pick with the concept of “plain/normal/regular.” Fortunately, in my line of work, there are literally hundreds of opportunities to pose challenges to this way of thinking.

       So i drug the moment out. It could have been over in a flash of money and smiles; i could have sent her on her merry way quite easily. But i chose not to. i pretended not to know what she meant. “Which one?” i asked.

       “The plain one,” she repeated herself as if the issue were one of decibel level instead of clarification.

       “i don’t know what’s ‘plain’ to you, that’s very subjective,” i began playfully. “This one is covered in powdered sugar, is it ‘plain?’ What about the frosted ones, those look pretty ‘plain’ to me. Then, of course, you’d have to choose what’s more ‘plain,’ black or white?” i framed with a wry smile.

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