A Day Without

Submitted by anonymous on 11 February, 2012 - 21:00
in

I was not going to write today. Today is a day without. If you are on any kind of regular medication, you know what that means. If you are on pain medication, you know exactly what I mean. I am managing: keeping as busy as I can, my mind as off of it as is possible, and simply riding it out when those fail. 

We filed taxes today, which meant talking to a stranger about being officially disabled. And of course, because I look the way I do, I get the look - of just enough socially acceptable disbelief without out and out accusing me of fraud. And I just sat there, paralyzed by all the available options of anger and ranting and pontificating stretching out before me, knowing I could touch none of them if I wanted my taxes done today. And the moment passed as quickly as it came, with no acknowledgement that it had even occurred.

Hell if pain meds are not a double edged sword. Without them, I am more alert, more bright, more capable of feeling. But with that comes not - because the thing I am most alert to, feeling the most, is pain. And not a practical, productive pain - no, a lingering, heavy, valueless pain. We put up with, even court, pain for certain reasons: athletic excellence, child birth, rights of passage. There is pain for good reason.

arvan's picture

Lady Vixion: T-Lables and Beyond

Submitted by arvan on 5 February, 2012 - 22:28
in

What does transgender mean. Opinion on the word Tranny. SOPA/PIPA

Olga Wolstenholme's picture

I Want to Start an Advice Column!

Submitted by Olga Wolstenholme on 5 February, 2012 - 20:03
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I want to start a weekly advice column on Cuntlove. Not just any advice column, because let’s face it, I might not hold the magic key that will solve all your problems or answer all your questions. I do, however, believe that we can all benefit from getting certain things out there in the open and having a discussion, so consider this more of an interactive advice column where people write in to Cuntlove about a certain subject, and we use that as a starting point to have a discussion, and maybe give each other some helpful advice along the way.

If you’ve got something on your mind, or if you’d like to start a dialogue going on a particular subject send it your questions and comments to olgawolstenhole@gmail.com or you can simply use this contact form.

Also, if you’ve got your personal website, feel free to copy the above banner and publish it on your blog with a link to this site. It would be really awesome if you helped spread the word.

I’ve already gotten a couple responses, so hopefully I’ll have this thing up and running by next week (I’m thinking of doing it every Thursday). I can’t wait to see what people write in to talk about and what you all will have to add on the subject. Let’s make this happen!

Koman Ditches Planned Parenthood, Abandons Poor Women

Submitted by anonymous on 5 February, 2012 - 06:00
in

 

Note: Koman has apologized and taken back their recent threat. But the fight is not over, and I have a follow up piece brewing. Until then, enjoy!

For those of you that do not know me, I think Planned Parenthood is awesome. But a lot of people out there do not share that opinion. They think that since a tiny portion of what Planned Parenthood does is related to helping women that need legal abortions, that PP should be burned to the ground and the fire victims left unmourned. I think those assholes should go to whatever hell they believe in, and let the rest of us live our lives as we see fit.

Recently, these wicked forces have been pressuring the Susan G. Koman for the Cure Foundation. NPR breaks some of it down here. The Washington Post has some news here. Now, many have valid issues with the Koman Foundation, and  we are not going to debate those here and now. But overall, what they are doing is a Good Thing (TM). Until now. Now they are leaving poor and rural and black and brown women to fend for themselves else they face the PR Monster of the Forced Birth advocates. (No, I will not call them "pro life" because they only care about control of the uterus, not promoting life.)

arvan's picture

Call for Submissions: New Views on Pornography: Sexuality, Politics, and the Law

Submitted by arvan on 25 January, 2012 - 14:37
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Call for Submissions: New Views on Pornography: Sexuality, Politics, and the Law, 2 Volumes
Edited by Lynn Comella, PhD and Shira Tarrant, PhD
Deadline: July 30, 2012

Co-editors Lynn Comella (University of Las Vegas, Nevada) and Shira Tarrant (California State University, Long Beach) are seeking submissions for a two-volume edited collection under contract with Praeger.

Description: New Views on Pornography is a two-volume collection of the most current scholarship on pornography. This edited series presents empirical research on a range of contemporary issues regarding pornography’s politics, psychology, cultural and legal debates, providing a comprehensive and multidisciplinary overview of the field of porn studies in one convenient location for students, researchers, and professors across related fields. Our goal as editors is to showcase new and innovative research that examines the culture and politics of pornography in a global context, including but not limited to, questions of production, audiences, market niches, technological innovations, political debates and controversies, obscenity, free speech, public policy and the law. The editors seek well-researched facts and data in order to provide readers with a comprehensive overview of issues on the subject.

arvan's picture

On Tim Tebow and the captive audience sales pitch

Submitted by arvan on 22 January, 2012 - 16:45
in

When I was a kid, our family would gather at my grandmother's house for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  All manner of cousins, aunts, uncles and sundry relatives would descend on a little house in Batavia, IL.  She had a bar in the basement with a pool table, a long dining room table made longer by adding some folding card tables and folding chairs.  In the living room, she had a big color TV - one of those tube jobs with the old remote that clicked loudly when you pressed a button.

The house and the day were a montage of running around, opening presents and eating tons of food including some questionable things made with Jello.  After a day of consumption and jubilation the adults were usually at the bar or playing pool downstairs.  Meanwhile, us kids would settle down in front of the TV to watch football.  We sprawled out across the floor, next to tables and a few choice seats in the big lounge chairs.  Late arrivals sat in the "bleacher seats" - a couch covered in plastic slip covers that stuck to skin in the summer and was slicker than ice in the winter.  Food coma and the chance to maybe see Gale Sayers break a long one.  This was the perfect ritual to mark the passing of another year and the bonds of family.

There was only one thing that could destroy this idyllic landscape: my great-uncle, the Priest.  He would come in when the game was on and we were all too tired or too full to move.  It was the kiss of death for fun.  It would usually go something like this:

great-uncle Priest: "What are you all doing in here?"

some kid: "um...watching the Bears lose"

great-uncle Priest: "Jesus never played football."

(fun dies)

On the Word "Lame" with PatientC

Submitted by anonymous on 20 January, 2012 - 19:33
in

 

A transcript is available at PatientC.

arvan's picture

that time when I was 12 and forced to deal with abortion

Submitted by arvan on 19 January, 2012 - 20:05
in

My parents sent me to Catholic grade school, catechism and the whole nine yards.  My mother was Catholic but she was also a Democrat, pro women's rights.  She dragged us to church but she was not on board with a lot of the Church's ways.  My dad was Presbyterian and never went to church.  He didn't buy into much of the rah rah business.  But, Catholic school was where we went.

By the time I was 10, it felt like I had every sacrament except marriage & last rites.  I had one clip-on necktie and a drawer full of white shirts & black pants.  My instructors were nuns or priests.  I still have scars on my knuckles from steel tip rulers being applied in response to some hijinx or another.

Until about the age of 10 or 11, us kids were kind of like a room full of puppies.  Adults, nuns and priests mostly talked at us making announcements, scolding and instructions of some sort.  Nobody asked us what we thought.  We talked to each other in the schoolyard or on the weekend as we ran around on our own.  We never asked the nuns or priests that much either.  Nobody wanted to get pulled into some lecture about Jesus or some obscure holiday / saint / rite that we would then be responsible for remembering later.

That all changed around the time I was 12 or 13.  Maybe it was  because we were going to be leaving for high school in a couple of years, or perhaps it was the times we lived in.  Probably, it was because we were or I was now becoming aware of the world around us.  Our little brains were looking around the world and forming opinions and making choices.  That shit right there is like kryptonite in the Catholic Church, let me tell ya.

arvan's picture

Privilege within communities working to lessen privilege

Submitted by arvan on 31 December, 2011 - 04:06
in

Audre Lorde once spoke at a feminist conference, noting that she was the only black lesbian there and one of only two women of color.  She was pointing at privilege and exclusion within a group formed to remedy and address privilege and exclusion.  In this address, she pointed to the language and organizational structure adopted by feminists to address patriarchy was formed by patriarchy to reinforce patriarchy.  That language and organization are the "master's tools" she speaks of and her assessment is that by using them, privilege will not be eliminated, but instead renewed and sustained.  

That metaphor has resonated with me since the very first time I heard it.  I started blogging for a number of reasons, including identifying, owning and interrupting privilege.  I have come to some conclusions which I will share in this post, namely:

- Privilege is always happening, in everyone's life and in every group.

- I can only interrupt, acknowledge and impact my own privilege.  This seems to be true for us all.  It is also true for groups.

- Denial sustains and reinforces privilege and honesty creates an opportunity to interrupt privilege.

The very instant any group or community is formed or declared, exclusion and privilege are established and instituted.  

Exclusion: some people are in that group and some are not.  

Privilege: the group has leader(s) / former(s) / administrator(s) / public & private voice(s) in some form or another who agree to their ability to declare the identity of that group.  There is also privilege in the selection of new members to the group or the expulsion of current members.

This can be problematic for any group whose stated goal is to address or lessen privilege.  This is often a group whose members and lives are often largely defined by their experiences of having been excluded by privileged persons and groups.  How such an organization or group addresses its privilege and exclusion will impact how successful they are in their efforts to impact privilege elsewhere and as a group or individuals.

arvan's picture

Open Letter to Cardinal George regarding his comparison of LGBTQI to the KKK

Submitted by arvan on 24 December, 2011 - 12:50
in

I just could not let this one go without saying something...

Cardinal George set the low bar for reason, respect and atrocity this week in comparing LGBTQI persons and organizations to the KKK.

He is upset that a bunch of queers want to have their pride parade on a street where one of his churches are.  He claims that queer people walking past his church violate his religious freedom.  Here is my open letter to him.

Dear Cardinal shitbird George,

Religious freedom means that you can believe whatever you want and you can talk about it with others.  It does not mean that you can use the law to keep people out of sight, who disagree with you or whose existence contradicts your views.  

You can say whatever you want about god in a building you own (without paying taxes while collecting money to pay off victims of your pedophile rapist priests and to deny the rapes ever happened).

But you cannot choose who walks down the city street in front of your church.  

Not everyone shares your faith.  I myself think of god as non-existent and yourself as a deluded, power-drunk man pretending to be god.  

In looking at the KKK, they're christians.  They burn crucifixes on people's lawns and have operated with overt and covert support from christian organizations - and still do.

In looking at history, it was the Catholic Church --- your employer, who supported Hitler in the genocides of jews, homeless, poor, roma and millions of others.  It was the Catholic Church and Pope who organized the Inquisition, targeting jews and women because people were listening to them instead of the Pope.  It was the Catholic Church who blessed, financed and helped the Atlantic Slave Trade and the genocide of millions of indigenous persons in North & South America as well as the European colonies in the Pacific in exchange for gold, wealth, land and the right to force millions into praying to your god.

There are exactly zero LGBTQI organizations which have done any of these things.  

So, "Mr. blood on his hands from playing god", if I were you, I'd shut the fuck up and collect my money from the people I've already conned into believing in my shitty god story and not draw attention to murders and atrocities, because that shit all points back to your holy doing.

As for my right to parade down the street past your fucking church, I'm going to wear a leather speedo in front of your church, stick my hand in my pants and kiss men and women in front of your church - as is my goddamn right.  In fact, I may stop by tomorrow, during Christmas mass because that is my right as well.

Fuck you.

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