beauty and the beast

exposing body image issues's picture

Defeating Love with Negative Body-Image


By Judith Brisson

My sweet new lover is back at it again, disparaging the way he looks and comparing his looks to mine. I once told him, “You know, being good looking is really an overrated quality”.  For one thing, it often attracts the wrong kind of attention. Regularly getting the “piece of meat” treatment is extremely annoying, not to mention the fact that implicit in that treatment is the belief that one does not have a brain.

My new friend has pointed out that I spend a lot of time trying to prove how smart I am, and as unpleasant as that arrogance might be, I am sure that it stems from my pretty younger years where I constantly had to prove that I did, in fact, have a GD brain. I still haven’t outgrown that.

And then there’s the doubt that perhaps one’s lover is only attracted to one’s body, and not to the human being inhabiting it. Second wave feminists might refer to this as objectification of the female body.  It’s reminiscent of the feeling one gets in the wake of a coital act where, once over, there isn’t really anything to say or any reason to stay in the same bed. That I’ve outgrown.

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