Annabelle River's picture

Gay Marriage Debate and Pickles

I was at a party recently and stumbled into a conversation where someone was stating their opposition to gay marriage rights. I have to admit, this doesn't happen to me often; I live in a big city, and the overwhelming majority of people with whom I personally associate take the desirability of gay rights for granted. So I pulled out all the arguments that I usually save for the proverbial choir, and asked this fellow why he opposes gay marriage. To be fair, neither of us were sober for this debate, but he didn't claim to have any rational arguments, and he didn't cite religion.

All of his arguments came down to re-wording, "Being gay is wrong because anal sex is gross. Ewww."

Which he said with taken-for-granted conviction, like he assumed that just because I'm a straight woman I've never fucked a man's ass before. Actually, I highly recommend it. I've also watched every episode of Queer as Folk, which I mostly find melodramatic, except that it's man-on-man sex scenes are some of the hottest soft-core porn scenes ever to air on television. And I'm not the first straight woman to think so. So I can answer that particular homophobia with enthusiastic conviction: "You don't know what you're missing." To which he gaped incredulously and repeated, "Ewww." Which is hard to debate, really, because what makes people horny is always individualistic and irrational. And then I realized: This fellow's opinions on anal sex may be a lot like my opinions on eating pickles.

arvan's picture

"If we're the same, then how am I better than you?"

Here is a great discussion on why heterosexuals can be threatened by the idea of gay marriage.  It is presented by Dr. Michael Schmitt, Associate Professor at Simon Fraser University and Director of the Self in Social Context Lab (SISC).

This video has some background info, so if you're impatient or don't like academic presentations - skip to 30 minutes in and dig the phat tracks he lays down.

Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage: The Role of Heterosexual Identity


h/t to LGBT Latest Science

arvan's picture

Terrific PSA exposing bias and vanity

Holy crap!  This is freakin' brilliant!  It is about prejudice and conceit.  The example is in how Africa is viewed, labeled and manipulated to assuage vanities and other self-serving aims.  However, the same process exists around gender, sex and body identities.  The free-for-all clamor for camera time and print publications that Lady Ga-Ga and Caster Semenya have produced are but two more recent and grotesque examples of people foisting their vanities upon someone else...for an allegedly 'good cause'.

When Bono edited the Africa issue of Vanity Fair, it included an essay written by Kenyan writer Binyavanga Wainaina. Through that, he became aware of another piece he'd written for Granta a number of years ago called "How (Not) to Write About Africa."

Director Jesse Dylan and his company FreeForm worked with Binyavanga and the Beninois actor Djimon Hounsou to create this filmed performance of the essay.


Annabelle River's picture

Sometimes Any Publicity Is Good Publicity

Thank you to Pendard at the Geeky Sex blog for alerting me: Pat Fagan of the Family Research Council just gave a speech to his right-wing base all about polyamory. Of course, very predictably, Christian Evangelical Pat Fagan does not like polyamory; one of his claims is: "In a polemical vein, one could say they 'snatch' children away from their parents and from the culture of monogamy in ways analogous to the Ottoman Turks of the 14th century who raided boys from Christian nations to train them as their own elite warriors, the Janissaries."

I think the youngest person to whom I'm even out as poly is twenty-one, and I don't remember having kidnapped any children lately, but whatever. What thrills me about this speech is: The Family Research Council is helping us with visibility. Because most people have never even imagined the concept that anyone could carry on multiple sexual relationships at the same time honestly.

As I've written here before, more people can wrap their heads around the phrase "open relationship" - but then they make false assumptions about how seriously committed we can be in "open relationships." A massive, massive quantity of Western literature and film has been devoted to the "tragedy" of falling in love with two people and having to decide between them. A massive, massive quantity of Western literature and film depicts people cheating dishonestly, and the "confession" is always a moment of great trauma.

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