bisexual

A married bisexual woman is a woman that is bisexual and married to a man.  (Women can marry women in some locations.  However, my article focuses on bisexual women who are married to men.)

There are basically six different scenarios for a married bisexual woman.

1. She is in a monogamous relationship with her husband.

2. She has a husband and a girlfriend, and the husband is okay with it.

3. She has a husband and a girlfriend, and the husband doesn't know about the girlfriend.

4. She has a husband and dates women when she feels like it, with no commitment to any of the women, and the husband is okay with it.

5. She has a husband and dates women when she feels like it, with no commitment to any of the women, and the husband has no clue she's doing it.

6. She has a husband and a girlfriend, or she dates many women without committing to any them, AND, the husband is involved in the relationships.

She's a strange creature to many people, whether those people are straight or gay.

There is a call for art from bisexual people being placed here.  Please visit the site and respond to Jack Mohr directly, if you are interested in participating.

-arvan

I am a graduate student in the Sexuality Studies program at San Francisco State University, and for my Master's project I am organizing an art showing to promote bisexual visibility. I am seeking artists who identify as Bisexual (or with a label inclusive of bisexuality, such as Pansexual, Omnisexual, Ambisexual or Queer), to submit paintings, drawings, photographs, prints, or sculptures relating to their experiences of living as a bisexual person. This project is an opportunity for artists to represent what being bisexual means to them and to help promote the wide variety of people who are bisexual. Artists selected for the exhibition will have their work on display in the art gallery at the Good Vibrations on Polk Street from October 8 to November 26, 2009. Their will be a formal opening for the event at the beginning of the exhibition.

Deadline for submissions is August 1, 2009. To submit your work, please send and email to BiArtSF@gmail.com. Your email must include:

- A digital photograph of the work, and the title of the work

- The work's dimensions. Hangable works will be limited to 8' in height and 6' in length. Sculptures will be limited to a base of 2' by 2', with a height no greater than 8'. Works may be either pre-existing work or work created specifically for the event.

- A paragraph description of the content of the work and how it relates to issues of bisexuality, bisexual identities and/or bisexual visibility (no more than 500 words).

- Your name, email and phone number. Selected artists will not be notified until after the submission deadline on August 1.

- Please specify if digital photographs of your work can be used in promotional materials and other publicity for the event.

All artists must be available during August or September 2009 to discuss their work with myself so that I can design captions for each work and for exhibition programs. All Artists must also be able to transport their work to and from the venue. Paintings, drawings, photographs and prints must be delivered in hangable condition.

If you have any questions about the project or the submission guidelines, please email me at BiArtSF@gmail.com.

Jack Mohr, M.A. Candidate, San Francisco State University

I figured that Film Night 8 at my sex-positive film series, which I mentally dubbed Masculine Sexuality Night, would be one of our least-attended nights; so I was glad to see that we still pulled in something like 30 people on May 12. I think about masculinity and the stereotypes and boxes that define it a lot, but it’s not a traditionally hot topic ….

The films we showed included a short called “Forever Bottom!”, about one gay male bottom and how much he loves bottoming, and the feature-length “Private Dicks: Men Exposed”. I had originally assigned “Forever Bottom” to the night we covered BDSM, but there was a problem with the DVD player and we couldn’t put it on. The mistake was serendipitous, though — the short was far better suited to Masculine Sexuality Night!

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Let me just start by saying — it was hard to find a documentary about masculine sexuality! My initial film list had one that seemed tangentially relevant, but I wasn’t able to find anything directly about masculinity until a month or so into the series. That was when I first talked to Marianna Beck, an awesome sexologist and Art Institute professor who used to edit the sexuality magazine “Libido”. I confided my woes — “Why, why isn’t anyone making documentaries about masculine sexuality?” I nearly wept — and she suggested “Private Dicks”. (I mean, I wasn’t actually weeping, but I was finding it frustrating. I would love to see the same kind of in-depth critiques of masculinity and masculine sexuality reach the mainstream, like those of femininity and feminine sexuality.)

My Hunt for Bi-Poly Statistics

By Alan M.

Compared to other alternative sexualities, polyamory is only starting to get much scientific and academic attention. (Polyamory means having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and free consent of everyone involved.)

Many polys are completely hetero. On the other hand, in the poly community you'll find more bisexuals, and more bi-friendliness, than anywhere else I know. This is despite the fact that in most poly partnership groups, only some of the interrelationships are sexual. The others can be anything from brotherly or sisterly life companionships, to housemate friendships, to cordial acquaintance between people who meet each other rarely if at all. Though often the links do involve full sexual triangles ("equilateral triads") and larger geometries.

You might imagine that in a three-in-a-bed situation, at least two people have to be bisexual. Not so. It's common for two men, or two women, to share cuddles and sex with a beloved third, and warmth and touch between themselves, without having an interest in each others' genitals. It can be quite a revelation that intimate loving companionship does not have to lead to orgasm or require a particular sexual orientation. (Hey, ask the early Christians.)

Nevertheless, bisexuality is abundant in the poly world and does help provide ties that bind.

How abundant? Guesses abound, but I've managed to round up some data.

The Heart of Polyamory

By Millie Jackson

After 18 years as an out and proud lesbian, it surprised many members of my LGBT community when I started to identify as bisexual.  Given that this also coincided with my transition from living a monogamous lifestyle to pursuing polyamory (consensually concurrent, intimate relationships), I suddenly and unwittingly became perceived as a double threat within my community.  For years I had assumed I was among an accepting and inclusive population.  I was unprepared for and disillusioned by experiencing a backlash from other LGBT’s.

Being polyamorous defied the “we’re monogamous just like them” argument for same-sex marriage, and transitioning from lesbianism to bisexuality challenged the notion that “we can’t change our sexual orientation”.  I was a triple threat when you factored in bisexuals who were cringing at the possibility of me reinforcing stereotypes that bisexuals want to have sex with everyone and can’t really ever settle down.  It was as if they were all wishing they could quietly usher me back into the closet from which they had worked so hard to break free.

• Originally posted at GLBT and Friends at Daily Kos's diary 

In the swinger scene, bi is the new black.  Approximately 90 percent of women in the lifestyle refer to themselves as bisexual, bi-friendly or bi-curious. And I estimate that 10 percent of those bi-something women are actually lesbians who are married to men, but who swing with other couples in order to play with women. 

My bisexual standing is something of a mystery to me.  I don’t know how to label myself.  While I’ve had many bisexual experiences, I’ve only been turned on by a handful of woman (that very athletic basketball player in college, that beautiful, androgynous sex toy shop owner in Chicago and the amazing sexologist who reminds me of my favorite boss).  Since I’m a swinger, I need to define myself for other potential playmates so, as a willing -- but not bona fide -- bisexual, I label myself “bi-friendly” on my swinger profile. 

One of our early lifestyle experiences showed me just how limited labels can be. When we first joined the lifestyle, Kev and I discovered one of the “lesbian” swingers.  We were inexperienced and anxious to get our feet wet so, when John, the husband, contacted us, he very bluntly told us his wife was “more bi than straight.” In our eagerness, Kev and I heard “My wife is bi, so come on over and join us in the hot tub for sex.”