desire

lilith land's picture

"I'm Too Fat to Have Sex!" Women, Body Image, and Low Desire

I just came across a non-scientific study sponsored by the "passion pill" Fembido, w

Olga Wolstenholme's picture

Guilt and Arousal?

Do you ever find yourself physically aroused by something you mentally find repulsive? Let me put it another way, have you ever burst out laughing during a funeral precisely because that is exactly what you are NOT supposed to do? Have you ever thought about your dad or your mom right when you are about to get it on, because that is the exact thought you do NOT want to associate with sex? Well, maybe you haven’t, but I know I have and I’m pretty confident I’m not the only person out there who has “inappropriate” thoughts or “inappropriate” physical reactions to certain things.

Someone I know recently sent me a link to a NY Times article entitled What Do Women Want? Now, forget the title. It’s horrible (I think) and it certainly doesn’t begin to illustrate what the article is about, which is: Meredith Chivers conducted research in which she showed people of varying gender and sexual orientation a variety of video clips that portrayed various levels of intimacy between people of varying gender and sexual orientation, including a video clip of Apes going at it. Now, while her subjects were watching these videos they were asked to indicate their level or arousal while the flow of blood to their genitals was simultaneously monitored.

Now, the interesting part is that, for the most part, the levels of arousal that the men indicated they were feeling were congruent with the actual signs of arousal in their genitals. Meaning if a straight man indicate he was less aroused when shown a video clip of men engaged in sexual activity , there were no discrepancies in the findings. The same went for a gay man who was watching two woman getting it on. If they claimed to not be aroused, their limp dicks told the same story. When it came to women, the results were a little more all over the place. In the sense that their level of arousal wasn’t always in line with what they claimed to be aroused by. A straight girl might say that she was less aroused by watching two women go at it, but the blood flow to her genitals may have told another story. As for the results in regards to the ape porn, women again were the ones to claim to not find themselves turned on, but still had an increase in blood flow to their genitals, which would indicate a discrepancy between what one THINKS is a turn on and what IS an actual turn on. Whether this indicates that men are generally more truthful about their bodies reactions or are simply more in tune with the ways in which arousal will manifests itself in their bodies is unclear.

book of blue's picture

Orgasm, Intimacy, Self and Relatedness at Burning Man

Backstory

Photo by Eric Francis.

It is some months after these events; I’ve lost count.  Not so many, let’s see—this was in September, and now it is November—so just under one season ago. It seems so distant and it seems like last week at the same time.

I remember that night as Siobhan and I walked across the playa. It was a journey on the surface of a different planet than the one we had come from, and neither of us forgot the image of the city as a temple complex. I described it when I had settled down a little. My description resembled both a feeling and a visual she experienced at the same time.

Fun Sway, who said she would be back to try that thing, thanked us for sharing the experience, and she plunged into the night. I was one to one with Siobhan and aware of the warmest space of acceptance by another person, safe and embracing. She didn’t need to speak to me and I didn’t need her too. This encouraged me to hold my silence and let so much that I was feeling swim around and find its world within me.

victorias sketchbook's picture

Longing prayer of the full moon

from Victoria's Sex Blog



i want to be with you
feel your warm hands on my body
your hot mouth on my nipples
your gentle eyes on my vulnerability


i want to wrap myself around you
take you in my arms
cradle your pain
and illuminate your nights with pleasure
 
i want to give to you my truth;
the reality of a loving body
that returns your passion
that responds to your desires
that smooths away your fears
and melts away your doubts
that can open up for you
the feminine that sleeps down below


book of blue's picture

the story of the cumstarved old man

Picture 13.

I don’t know if I can actually tell the story of the cumstarved old man, but I can try.

The pretense of the meeting was that he was looking at my prints as a potential buyer. I thought I was going to show him several framed and unframed pieces; which he looked at. The meeting was created by a mutually trusted individual. Knowing him for a while, she warned me that he was basically a dirty old man and was horny for me, or thought he was. He had never met me, or seen my picture or anything, except hearing a description of my work.

I was not going to let this get in the way of selling him some art; but apparently it did, because as it turned out all he wanted to do was suck my cock; he was not vaguely interested in buying art.

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