family

Mastering the Art of Letting Gender Go

Would you, as a father, wear a dress so that your 5-year-old son felt less embarrassed about doing so?

If you’ve been online at any point in the past few weeks, then you probably know that I’m referring to the German dad who did just that for his little boy. The kid preferred wearing dresses and skirts when they were living in the liberal big city, but started to feel uncomfortable after moving to a smaller, more religious, more conservative community. So when he started to consider opting out of his fashion choices, his father decided instead to encourage him to be himself – by donning the dresses, too.

Then there’s the more mixed (and, apparently, untrue) rumor that Jay-Z had decided to stop calling women “bitches” after his daughter was born. On the one hand, he would have been giving up an abominably sexist male behavior. On the other, it would ostensibly have been done to protect his little baby girl – a very gendered response.

Lupus Gimp, How Does Your Garden Grow

With gardening ProTips!
Whether it is in a small pot on a table, or in the section of yard I have claimed for my garden, the smell of freshly turned earth turns me on – not in a horny way, but in a “this is really real life” special kind of way. It helps me feel productive and connected.

I call it my garden because it is my idea, and I am the one that insists on having it. Everyone in the household sees the benefit of it. Everyone in the house contributes effort to it, either because they want to, because I ask them to, or because it increases their allowance. It really is our family garden.

SmartAss Commentary: Cripple Queers Stay Home

Note: I never thought that I would write a somewhat positive take on a gun show and a very negative experience at a Pride event, well, ever. But here I am.

So, IndyPride was the weekend of June 11th, 2011. My family and I were excited to attend. We have friends all over the LGBT, Intersex and Queer spectrum. I am bisexual, and my girls – much to my own parental pride – feel free to decide who and what they are in their own time. So my husband, my boyfriend, my girls, and I loaded up to head downtown for the Indianapolis Pride festival.

Buck Angel's picture

Buck Angel's Family Acceptance PSA

My new Public Service Announcement from my Mom. To help family members who are having a hard time with acceptance of a GBLTQ son or daughter.

For help, check out the resources on http://www.pflag.org

closed captioned for the hearing impaired

Check out more of Buck Angel Entertainment at www.buckangelentertainment.com

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“Panties and Bras Included”

Originally written by Lynn for Bekhsoos: Queer Arab Magazine.

Inspired by the march to “Take Back the Night” for International Women’s Day in Beirut, Lebanon. Dedicated to my good friend Zee who’s always pushing me to write myself into words.

March 9th 2011.

Take back the night because the morning after, at 25, you still have to argue with your mother who’s pleading that your father is unable to accept the fact that you’re coming home so late.

Take back the night because after marching for hours under heavy rain, chanting and screaming your feminist slogans, soaked in your clothes, you would rather stick to your friends instead of coming home to find all your clothes thrown on your bed and the floor. panties and bras included.

Take back the night because when you wake up at 8 AM the next day, your working mom, who should have been at work by 7:30 AM, is still home cleaning and cooking, while your unemployed father is out -not- finding a job again.

fattou's picture

days in hospital

I was hospitalized in 2008, I spent 3 weeks there, it was a very tough period, it was like a prison with medicines, after K.S convinced me that I need professional help, I went to the hospital with

arvan's picture

Sarah Graham: A Letter to my Body

'A Letter to my Body' is a series of essays - broadcast on BBC Radio 3 - in which five thinkers, artists and writers ask themselves how they relate to their own bodies.

Sarah Graham, a successful therapist and addictions counsellor, explores her at times turbulent relationship with her body.  From the age of eight Sarah was given ongoing medical treatment but she only learned the real nature of her diagnosis at the age of twenty-five when a gynaecologist finally revealed the truth: that she has XY chromosomes and is an intersex woman.

Doctors had even shielded her parents from the truth about her "disorder of sexual development".

The shock of the revelation led Sarah on a path of depression and addiction which nearly killed her. However she has gradually rebuilt her health and her self esteem. In this essay she makes peace with her body and challenges homophobia in religion and our society's polarised expectations of gender.

AIS Support Group: http://www.aissg.org/

arvan's picture

Meeting my Dad as his Daughter (trans woman) - Personal Vlog by ladyVixion

ladyVixion is one of the most touching, open and honest people I've come across.  In this personal vlog entry, she describes her experience in meeting her father for the first time in person, since she came out as trans to him. 

With all the crap going on in this world, the beauty of human relatedness and the example of how we can profoundly impact each other - is cause for hope, strength and courage.

-arvan

arvan's picture

"Wife"

I took my 8 y/o daughter recently to visit the grave of my grandmother and grandfather.  They're buried in a little cemetery in Batavia, IL called Resurrection.  My daughter said it was too bad that we didn't bring flowers and I agreed.  I'm not much of a cemetery visitor myself, but there is something about flowers.

We agreed to bring flowers next time.

It took us about 20 minutes to find the headstones, which was comedic in itself.  I was sort of embarrassed that I didn't know where the markers were.  I mean, I really did spend a lot of time with "Gramma" when she was alive.  I haven't visited her grave since the day she was buried, 9 years ago.

As I lined up an 8 y/0 child with me into a search party for two rocks in the ground with names Donald andJane, I thought that it's probably a lucky break for me that I am an atheist.  I figured that if I believed that I'd be facing the spirits of the dead in an afterlife, they would chew my ass out for never visiting their tombs or at least bringing flowers when I did finally swing by.  Not to mention spending my remaining living years stewing over the guilt for my misdeeds.

As it was, I just passed the time watching my daughter pick up shiny things as an offering for the graves of her ancestors.  I wondered if I was a poor example of how to respect ones ancestors, but that was just my old Catholic guilt training flaring up like some scar from a childhood trauma.  In reality, the way to respect my ancestors is to live a life of dignity and honesty; to live a life worth living.  That's what they did and that's the only thing Gramma would want me to do, if she were here.  It's all she ever wanted for me.

arvan's picture

Call for Submissions - This Bridge Called My Baby: Legacies of Radical Mothering

I found this today, in my Internet travels.  It looks good and I will love to read what they assemble. -arvan

“We can learn to mother ourselves.” Audre Lorde, 1983

All mothers have the potential to be revolutionary. Some mothers stand on the shoreline, are born and reborn here, inside the flux of time and space, overcoming the traumatic repetition of oppression. Our very existence is disobedience to the powers that be.
At times, in moments, we as mothers choose to stand in a zone of claimed risk and fierce transformation, the frontline. In infinite ways, both practiced and yet to be imagined,  we put our bodies between the violent repetition of the norm and the future we already deserve, exactly because our children deserve it too.  We make this choice for many reasons and in different contexts, but at the core we have this in common: we refuse to obey. We refuse to give into fear. We insist on joy no matter what and by every means necessary and possible.

In this anthology we are exploring how we are informed by and participating with those mothers, especially radical women of color, who have sought for decades, if not centuries, to create relationships to each other, transformative relationships to feminism and a transnational anti-imperialist literary, cultural and everyday practice.

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