flirting

Olga Wolstenholme's picture

Getting Hit On Can Make Me Uncomfortable

I decided to stop at the Dunkin’ Donuts right near my place to get a little something sweet. I had a hankering since I missed the freshly baked cookies at work earlier today. This particular donut shop is down right ghetto. They have a few tables and the oddest assortment of people always hang out there. To get there faster I cut through the middle of the tables on my way inside, and there was this guy sitting out there that was starring at me way too intently. The guy in question is really good looking, but frankly anyone who spends so much time hanging put in front of a Dunkin’ Donuts is a little weird in my books. I consider myself to be pretty open-minded, but come on, how about sitting on a park bench or something once in a while to change things up.

Getting back to the story, as I walked by where he was sitting he began to stare at me very intently. He twisted himself on his chair to watch me walk in. The entire time I was inside he continued to stare at me through the window. It was making me very uncomfortable. I mean he was REALLY staring! I’ve never had anyone look at me in quite that way before and for quite so long.

I didn’t know what to do, I really didn’t want him to approach me on my way out, so I tried my best to look like I hadn’t notice him and walk right past without giving him the opportunity to stop me or say anything. I only had to walk a block away, but I could still feel him staring at me. For a second, I worried that he would see where I live and then I blew that thought off as paranoid, but the whole thing did make me think about how it makes me feel to get hit on.

the gay love coach's picture

Flirt Like a Superstar (And Have Droves of Gay Men Begging for Your Phone Number!)

Introduction

You look across the crowded bar to the target of your interest on the other side of the room. He’s dashingly handsome in a leather jacket, leaning up against the wall watching the videos on the TV screen as he sips at his beer. He senses your presence and shifts his eyes in your direction to meet your gaze. He holds the eye contact briefly before looking away. Moments later, he looks back and connects with your eyes again, this time holding the gaze a little bit longer. You slightly raise your eyebrows and shoot him a quick smile. Your heart pounds with anticipation as he nods his head once and cracks a return smile. Green light—he’s interested! You take a deep breath as you plunge into the crowd, making your way toward the hottie across the room to make your introduction.

Flirting is an art form in which you use both verbal and nonverbal communication to express your interest in someone. My confession is that during my single days, I was horrible at it! My best friend and I would parade all over the gay district in Chicago and he always seemed to be able to charm everyone we encountered while I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. How does a man with flirt with another man? I’d either be too self-conscious to risk approaching someone or I wouldn’t know how to respond to the other guys’ advances, sabotaging the moment by being too nervous, looking away, or just not even recognizing the signs of being “hit on.” I chock a lot of that up to being a function of having just “come out”, not being fully secure with myself yet, and still trying to learn the ropes of gay dating. But one thing became very clear and that was that flirting is a skill. Some people are more adept at it with their extroverted personalities and creativity, while others have to work at it more and cultivate it to their own personal style.

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