gay

Introduction

For those singles unhappy with their relationship status, Valentine's Day can represent a sense of foreboding and dread as it highlights all the things they wish they had in their lives. Everywhere they look it seems like there is a happy couple on every street corner, and it seems inescapable to walk into a store without some image or product associated with the holiday being shoved in one's face to reinforce the value of love and relationships.

The Bent Bars Project is a new letter-writing project for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, intersex, and queer prisoners in Britain.  The project aims to develop stronger connections and build solidarity between LGBTQ communities outside and inside prison walls.

Although many overtly homophobic and transphobic laws have been recently overturned in Britain, the criminal (in)justice system continues to target and criminalize queer, trans and gender non-conforming people.  We don’t know exactly how many LGBTQ people are currently behind bars, but we do know queer, trans and gender non-conforming people, particularly those from poor backgrounds and communities of colour, are disproportionately funneled into the prison system as a result of systemic discrimination, inequality and social exclusion.   We also know that queer, trans and gender non-conforming people are subject to increased isolation, harassment, violence and assault when in prison.

Introduction

Let’s face it--life can be pretty darn hectic sometimes! Juggling all those commitments and trying to balance the roles and responsibilities you have can be quite challenging, and the one area of your life that can take the biggest hit is your relationship. It can be so easy to take your partner for granted as you try to tackle all those work demands, return your friends’ phone calls, and meet those family obligations.  If you let it, your relationship can begin to lose its sense of priority, especially if you and your partner have gotten into a comfortable groove in the way you relate and function as a couple.  The obvious consequence to this is a weakening of connection, potential decreased intimacy, emotional distance, and resentment over unmet needs.

All relationships, no matter how good, require consistent feeding. You must constantly nurture them, attend to them, and ensure that they remain healthy and strong.  This is especially so because relationships, and the individuals who comprise them, are always changing with the passage of time.  To not grow with the changes can result in a breakdown with inevitable conflict and sometimes demise.

I’m a big advocate for doing periodic “check-ins” with your significant other to make sure the relationship is progressing in a mutually-satisfying direction.  Gay men (actually men in general!) typically tend to favor problem-solving and action over communication.  This thereby creates the potential for huge rifts to occur in their relationships because of the lack of dialogue to ensure they and their partners are on “the same page” with things that matter most.  This article will describe one strategy that can promote you and your partner’s focus on your relationship; this technique can help you avoid getting distracted by other forces in your life and remind you to communicate and tend to the needs of your relationship to keep feeding its successful growth.

Introduction

“Guys suck! I’m never going to find a decent one who wants more than a one-night stand!”

“All the good ones are taken!”
“I’m not attractive enough to land myself a boyfriend”

“Gay men and relationships just don’t mix. Why even bother?!”

Do you ever think such thoughts?  If you’re single and on the market for a boyfriend, it certainly can be easy to get jaded and develop these and many more pessimistic thoughts about the gay dating scene.  Especially when it seems like you’ve done just about everything to promote your “dateability” and consider yourself a “good catch”, yet still fall short of accomplishing your goal or vision, negativity can seem to just flow out automatically as you vent out your frustrations and try to make sense of the injustice of it all.  But while it may seem natural at times to move toward this way of thinking in your upset, one must be very careful trudging in this territory because it can be detrimental to your well-being.

Introduction

Trust is probably the most important ingredient in fostering a healthy committed relationship and is commonly known to be the glue that cements a couple together. Trust is the endearing faith and confidence that your partner will respect you and not take advantage of or hurt you. It’s a feeling that he is genuine, authentic, dependable, and sincere. This connection allows you to be completely uninhibited and open yourself up to being vulnerable and share your most intimate thoughts and feelings—spots and all! Time and experience with your man has enabled a climate of safety to evolve in your relationship because you’ve both consistently demonstrated honor and strength of character in your actions toward each other and those around you.

While trust takes time to develop and is a hallmark of a successful relationship, it can very quickly be damaged if not nurtured and cause severe consequences for the future of the partnership afflicted by an indiscretion. Once trust has been compromised, it can be very difficult to repair, and in some cases that damage can be irreversible. This article will offer some tips for those couples invested in bridging the gap and attempting to restore the impaired trust in their relationships.

Introduction

Particularly with the legal sanctions that exist against gay marriage, moving in and living together is a big step and important rite-of-passage for a gay couple. It can symbolize the development and maturation of their relationship, as well as express the sense of a deepening commitment to each other and desire for more definition as partners.

However romantic it may seem to “shack up,” it’s a huge life-changing decision that shouldn’t be made lightly or on impulse. It requires a lot of forethought and preparation or you could be setting yourselves up for a lot of drama, stress, and pain. This article will offer some tidbits of information on cohabitation and lend you some questions for contemplation to assess your true readiness for “taking the plunge” as live-in lovers. Then some suggestions will be made to help foster a smoother decision-making process for you and your guy.