gay sex

the gay love coach's picture

The Power Bottom

I was interviewed by Ian Bassingthwaighte from Esquire Magazine for an article in their sex column in the publication’s December 2010 issue. It was about the concept of “the power bottom” as it pertains to gay sexuality. Unfortunately, it didn’t make the official pages of the magazine, but below are the questions I was asked with my corresponding answers.

1.  What is the difference between a bottom and a power bottom, or how is power bottom defined?

In gay sexuality terms, a “bottom” is understood to be the male partner who is on the receptive end of anal intercourse and enjoys being penetrated. A “power bottom” could be defined as a bottom who has a strong enthusiasm and drive for engaging in long sessions of anal penetrative sex, whether as an extended single encounter with no interruption of being “topped”, or having the desire and ability to engage in multiple instances of anal sex over a long period of time within a sexual episode. A man who can accommodate penile thrusting for long periods without stopping and shows exuberance, lack of inhibition, and active participation in the sexual encounter are characterized as “power bottoms.” Many tops (the penetrator) who have endurance and enjoy long sessions of anal intercourse commonly complain about bottoms who have to terminate penetration because of discomfort, pain, or exhaustion. Conversely, power bottoms can also be discontented with a top who ejaculates too quickly during sex and halts the sexual encounter before he has been thoroughly satisfied.

Alex Karydi's picture

Finding your Inner Lesbian

When did love become a race? When did the earth become such a lonely place or so scary that we all decided to bump into as many people in hopes of meeting someone and finding love? With all the advertising and social pressure to find this person, this soul mate; we have lost the ability to be on our own. We do not know how to enjoy ourselves or even if we are worth being enjoyed.

There is some truth in that, if you do not know who you are or what you like, then how will you expose it to anyone else? It is ironic that there are thousands of books on building self-esteem and self-love that are written and television shows  that makes millions on helping you find it, when really it is available immediately within you!  We all know what makes us feel good, because our experiences in life teach us that.

We know what pulls us down because it’s like a familiar banner that runs through our minds every day, when we are tired, angry, lonely, or hungry (because your diet affects your mood)! We see it; listen to it like an obedient dog that has been trained to hear the negative self-talk and go as directed “Yes, I’m stupid”, “You  are right I will never get her she is too good for me”, “Nothing I do is ever right”, “Who am I kidding this will never work.” 

Yes, I know those lines too, I have said them more than I care to think about to myself. Why is it people do not see their full potential? Why are we not able to focus on ourselves for long enough to build love and trust in who we are? We as a community and not just Gay women, but society rely so much on what others think and how they behave towards us?

Alex Karydi's picture

Save your Gay soul before you get RIGHTS!

I'm writing in anger and frustration! I am saddened by the world I live in and the social ignorance I am surrounded by. People have asked me if I want my face on my article or want the fact that I am gay broadcasted, wondering if I worry about people finding out.

Are you serious?  You think I should hide because I am gay, because I love women? Because I want the same rights as everyone else and one day MARRY the woman of my dreams.  Do you want me silent and deaf to your cruel and uneducated remarks?  You have another thing coming!  Not only will I not stay quite, not only will I not hide, I will stand proud and strong and I will fight for everything I am and for my community!  I will fight for a life I want and deserve.

But more than anything I will fight for my child, so that she never has to hear in her lifetime someone tell her that her mother has a mental illness, is brain-damaged, or is choosing to be a homosexual and will go to hell (which unfortunately has been told to me on several occasions.)  I am going to fight so the women, human beings I connect with and love can share my life with me and without worries about not having the same Privileges and Rights as every other committed married couple.

jolie du pre's picture

Robert Pattinson Finally Gets Some Sex on Screen - Gay Sex

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I have a number of intellectually snobby friends who hated the book Twilight and who had no interest in seeing the movie with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. 

I wasn't big on the book.  Plus, Stephenie Meyer said she's never read much vampire work, not even Bram Stoker's Dracula.  (The 30 something Mormon mom says it is on her list to read.  I read it when I was 16.)  

However, I loved the movie, and I don't care who knows it.  I'm a sucker for a love story  on the big screen.  Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are knock outs, but there was no sex between Pattinson and Stewart, just some sexy scenes.

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