Lesbian Dating

Alex Karydi's picture

Lesbian Flirting Tips! The Truth!

I am by far the worst person at picking up chicks, but you know what they say “those who can’t do teach.” So here I am caught in my avoidant behavior by a stranger no doubt, someone that stumbled on something I wrote and realized immediately that I have been living in the shadow of “picking up fear.”

Its funny that most people think I am confident, they see me laughing, being loud and joking around and they assume that it’s easy for “seemingly” outgoing people to pick up. Well the reality, like a lot of you may know, is that appearances are often not the depth of the person, and when you start peeling the layers you find that beneath the shiny distracting exterior lies shyness, insecurity, fears and maybe even worthlessness.

I was a really ugly kid, seriously, I had big thick glasses, braces (the whole head gear), really tall, hunched and long curly hair always in my face. I was not much to look at and with that came the avoidance of people; the bullying I received during my time at the French school did not help either. By the time I reached high school, my braces were off, contacts were in, hair was pulled back, and that little French accent got me whatever I wanted in the South African school.

Oh yeah! I went from being nothing to something different, and never had to or really wanted to learn to pick up someone. Also, being a big fat lesbian did not help because I had little interest in boys but I wanted to play and be friends with them which seemed to make them more interested so that cut the challenge of learning too.

So here I am thirty years old, sitting at a bar with my best friend without a clue in the world as to how I am going to show Tann (the reader I will soon not forget!) that she’s wrong.

Well needless to say it was an absolute train wreck, but I did learn some important tips on flirting and picking up women.

Here goes nothing:

Alex Karydi's picture

Lesbian Online Dating

Where are Lesbians meeting other Lesbians? Our community, as small as it is and as incestuous as it is known for has been having a hard time finding legitimate mates.  

Many Lesbians meet there next partner through there ex (whom often they return to for a few more rounds) or in a bar (because the ladies do like to drink a fair bit) that it has become a challenging experience to find an interesting untouched female that has not been through the multiple girl circles we belong too.

In therapy I am constantly asked where do gay women meet up? Especially if you are in some kind of alcohol and drug recovery or have dated so many psychos in the same area code that you need a new hopeful experience! Well the Internet is the new way to date, actually not so new but where more and more gay woman are congregating to find their soul mate.

Online you safely put a profile up, some nice photos and basically advertise yourself to the United States or even the world of Lesbians in search for love. In the sea of women, contacts are established; friendships are formulated and sometimes through the timeless romantic form of communication, known as “love letters” you find someone.

Alex Karydi's picture

Finding your Inner Lesbian

When did love become a race? When did the earth become such a lonely place or so scary that we all decided to bump into as many people in hopes of meeting someone and finding love? With all the advertising and social pressure to find this person, this soul mate; we have lost the ability to be on our own. We do not know how to enjoy ourselves or even if we are worth being enjoyed.

There is some truth in that, if you do not know who you are or what you like, then how will you expose it to anyone else? It is ironic that there are thousands of books on building self-esteem and self-love that are written and television shows  that makes millions on helping you find it, when really it is available immediately within you!  We all know what makes us feel good, because our experiences in life teach us that.

We know what pulls us down because it’s like a familiar banner that runs through our minds every day, when we are tired, angry, lonely, or hungry (because your diet affects your mood)! We see it; listen to it like an obedient dog that has been trained to hear the negative self-talk and go as directed “Yes, I’m stupid”, “You  are right I will never get her she is too good for me”, “Nothing I do is ever right”, “Who am I kidding this will never work.” 

Yes, I know those lines too, I have said them more than I care to think about to myself. Why is it people do not see their full potential? Why are we not able to focus on ourselves for long enough to build love and trust in who we are? We as a community and not just Gay women, but society rely so much on what others think and how they behave towards us?

Alex Karydi's picture

The Lesbian Science of Love

You say love is a gut feeling, that it's something that you just know? Then why doesn't it always keep the intensity and relationship going? If it's such a strong emotion, if who we are drawn too is so animalistic and uncontrollable then why doesn't it always last!

Attraction is just the initial trigger that pushes you into a relationship with another person, unfortunately it is not the main component that will maintain a healthy and fulfilling lesbian relationship. There are four important skills of a healthy relationship that have been studied and found in long-term relationships that have increased love and intimacy in couples. Knowledge and practice of these skills have been found to sustain couples through their hard times together, as well as allow for growth in the individual and the family system. Learning these four skills and putting them into action on a daily basis will increase the success of your relationship as well as maintain healthy boundaries and love for each other.

Let's explore these skills further:

Syndicate content
Powered by Drupal, an open source content management system