Lesbian Parenting

Alex Karydi's picture

For My Child's Sake...

Lying in bed with my baby beside me, I  feel her little body wiggling underneath the blanket. I love her so much, a love deeper then any other I have ever known. I am left unsettled with the fact that I may leave this world behind, leaving my child alone in it. 

As dark as it sounds, and maybe provoked by the anniversary of my mother’s death, I often cry at the thought of dying and leaving her in this mess of a planet. This is a scary world where others, most, live in terms of their beliefs no matter how unrealistic or skewed. 

This week surprisingly has brought about many dark impressions into my thoughts. On Monday my daughter fell and hit her head on a corner, so hard that it left a mark and bruise. Now I know that this may seem like a little booboo, especially to those with two or more kids, but I have lost my whole family so little booboos are counted as catastrophes in my mind. 

I slept horribly that night, in fact I had a dream about my mother and she was telling me that my daughter had been taken in for surgery due to a compressed spine? I am not even sure if that is a condition but I woke up in cold sweats and in pain. It’s rare for me to dream of her but to see her and to hear that news shook my soul. 

Then on Tuesday while I was listening to Out News on Sirius Fm (of course I listen to gay radio all day long, I am gay for heaven sakes, it’s all I know!) I crushed the polyester cup in my hands which lead to a diet Pepsi exploding all over my brand NEW (5 months old) car. I mean it went everywhere! Why, because I wasn’t paying attention and was completely side tracked by the fact that two marines who hit a gay man in the state of Georgia  are not going to receive any punitive action because throwing a punch for someone looking at you in a “gay way” is not considered a hate crime. Really! 

Alex Karydi's picture

Am I ready to be a Lesbian Parent?

So it's decided, you can't walk pass the baby aisle at Target without whimpering you want one. You keep looking at each other wondering what your little bundle of joy will look like and what part each of you will play in the baby's life! You already started picking names and have transformed the extra room into a nursery! You want a baby, you're talking about getting more involved in your girlfriend's child or children's lives, or maybe you're talking about adoption! But are you ready for a child?

With any couple it's important that you talk about having a baby or children seriously before going through the process. It's a lifetime commitment to another human being with no take backs! Having a child needs to be a choice that feels comfortable within yourself and as a couple. As well as deciding to become more involved in your partners offspring is a serious matter, the attachment a child forms can be a model for future relationships, and as you all know abandonment can stay scared beyond the early years.

In the LGBT world we have so many obstacles as it is and walls we need to break through it is vital for a child's success that you have to be willing to accept and educate the challenges that you'll have to face as a Lesbian mom or LGBT parent. Being stable in all areas of life will make the journey of having children a lot easier, so explore where you are financial, career wise, mentally, emotionally, and as a relationship. One big mistake so many people do, no matter what our sexual orientation, is to have a child to keep the relationship. The truth is that having a baby is so stressful from conception to the delivery and beyond that if there is no solid foundation within your relationship it will crumble!  So are you ready?

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