Lesbian Sex

Alex Karydi's picture

Lesbian Sex Ed: Let’s talk Anal!



 


I was talking to my sister on the phone the other day and the conversation found it’s way in the most amusing and yet unspoken place “how do you feel about anal?” she says to me without a second of hesitation.  Now, there is very little I haven’t dealt with; however, I don’t think anyone is ever prepared to hear that come out of their little sister’s mouth.


After a giggle and all the why’s and how’s were answered, I wondered how much Lesbians knew about anal sex and how many were willing to share their experiences and feelings around this dark and often scary topic. I tested this hypothesis on my girlfriend by asking her “how do you feel about anal?” All I got back was a smile and a wink, which I am still working on the verbal translation. 


There are many words to describe the anus: back-door, back eye, bum hole, butt pussy, chuff, date, flipside, moon, rosebud, third eye, round eye, trap two, workman’s entrance (or lesbianized a workwoman’s entrance), arsehole, batcave, blowhole, butthole, ring, fudge tunnel, pooh chute, tan track and the list goes on. I don’t care what you call your dirt road; it is still an amazing place to explore sexually and can be a lot of fun.


 Most women are concerned in this area as their can be sometimes nasty surprises, and no one wants to be embarrassed, vulnerable and naked in bed. Yes, there are some things that could happen during anal sex that are unplanned but isn’t that with anything. Sex is a messy often very wet experience. There is sweat, saliva, vagina lubrication/ cum (aka honey pot butter), and sometimes even blood.


 So, maybe by now I have repulsed you so much you’re asking, “well what’s the point if it’s so nasty?” Anal sex is not nasty that is the point! Anal sex is very similar to having vagina intercourse, the difference is the skin and lining of the rectum is rich in nerve endings and is capable of producing increadible sensations.

Alex Karydi's picture

Lesbian Lovers: The Art of Cunnilingus

First of all, before we begin let’s get something straight about my favorite pass time. This article is going to be graphic and straight to the point, so if you have any problems with learning the vagina in the most intimate of ways… stop… reading… now.

Every gay woman knows, the vagina is a complicate instrument that is attached to our brains and unlike our male counterparts, who merely have to graze it against a tree and they get a hard on.  Well for us ladies it takes a little bit of warming up; it’s all about teasing, and taking it slowly. All vaginas differ in shape, taste, smell, and feeling.  Every woman needs to be learnt and understood as an individual; understanding that the same trick may not work on all women.

 

When doing cunnilingus, you don’t only use your mouth and tongue, but your ears to listen to her and your hands to feel her.  Stay in tune with your lover, don’t just focus on making her cum it should be fun and you should enjoy being there watching her while you play with her body and excite her. It’s not a race and you don’t get a price for how fast you make her climax, but rest assured you will get one for how hard.

Alex Karydi's picture

Control, Loyalty and the Big V in Lesbian Relationships

We are beginning the week with the ending of the relationship myths. Hopefully some of you have been able to share your thoughts and ideas on the last two articles related to this one with a friend or partner. Maybe some things have progressed and maybe for some of you it’s just a matter of knowing what to do with all this new information. How do I incorporate this knowledge in a way that can project me forward? Well, as soon as you are made aware of something you are in a movement of change, so you’ve already started, go Girl!

 Last three myths are big ones, they are so common in relationships and for most of us they are performances we do on a daily basis that being aware of them may seem futile, at first! Lets break them down into pieces and re-adjust them so they can be managed and help us progress with change.

 The first myth has been the undoing of us all at some point or another. Women have shared this sentence with each other a million times. And even though we are an intelligent and resourceful community we can not seem to let go of this internal lie, “If I am not in complete control at all times, then there will be chaos and pain.”

Alex Karydi's picture

Lesbian Online Dating

Where are Lesbians meeting other Lesbians? Our community, as small as it is and as incestuous as it is known for has been having a hard time finding legitimate mates.  

Many Lesbians meet there next partner through there ex (whom often they return to for a few more rounds) or in a bar (because the ladies do like to drink a fair bit) that it has become a challenging experience to find an interesting untouched female that has not been through the multiple girl circles we belong too.

In therapy I am constantly asked where do gay women meet up? Especially if you are in some kind of alcohol and drug recovery or have dated so many psychos in the same area code that you need a new hopeful experience! Well the Internet is the new way to date, actually not so new but where more and more gay woman are congregating to find their soul mate.

Online you safely put a profile up, some nice photos and basically advertise yourself to the United States or even the world of Lesbians in search for love. In the sea of women, contacts are established; friendships are formulated and sometimes through the timeless romantic form of communication, known as “love letters” you find someone.

Alex Karydi's picture

Finding your Inner Lesbian

When did love become a race? When did the earth become such a lonely place or so scary that we all decided to bump into as many people in hopes of meeting someone and finding love? With all the advertising and social pressure to find this person, this soul mate; we have lost the ability to be on our own. We do not know how to enjoy ourselves or even if we are worth being enjoyed.

There is some truth in that, if you do not know who you are or what you like, then how will you expose it to anyone else? It is ironic that there are thousands of books on building self-esteem and self-love that are written and television shows  that makes millions on helping you find it, when really it is available immediately within you!  We all know what makes us feel good, because our experiences in life teach us that.

We know what pulls us down because it’s like a familiar banner that runs through our minds every day, when we are tired, angry, lonely, or hungry (because your diet affects your mood)! We see it; listen to it like an obedient dog that has been trained to hear the negative self-talk and go as directed “Yes, I’m stupid”, “You  are right I will never get her she is too good for me”, “Nothing I do is ever right”, “Who am I kidding this will never work.” 

Yes, I know those lines too, I have said them more than I care to think about to myself. Why is it people do not see their full potential? Why are we not able to focus on ourselves for long enough to build love and trust in who we are? We as a community and not just Gay women, but society rely so much on what others think and how they behave towards us?

Alex Karydi's picture

The Lesbian Science of Love

You say love is a gut feeling, that it's something that you just know? Then why doesn't it always keep the intensity and relationship going? If it's such a strong emotion, if who we are drawn too is so animalistic and uncontrollable then why doesn't it always last!

Attraction is just the initial trigger that pushes you into a relationship with another person, unfortunately it is not the main component that will maintain a healthy and fulfilling lesbian relationship. There are four important skills of a healthy relationship that have been studied and found in long-term relationships that have increased love and intimacy in couples. Knowledge and practice of these skills have been found to sustain couples through their hard times together, as well as allow for growth in the individual and the family system. Learning these four skills and putting them into action on a daily basis will increase the success of your relationship as well as maintain healthy boundaries and love for each other.

Let's explore these skills further:

Alex Karydi's picture

Am I ready to be a Lesbian Parent?

So it's decided, you can't walk pass the baby aisle at Target without whimpering you want one. You keep looking at each other wondering what your little bundle of joy will look like and what part each of you will play in the baby's life! You already started picking names and have transformed the extra room into a nursery! You want a baby, you're talking about getting more involved in your girlfriend's child or children's lives, or maybe you're talking about adoption! But are you ready for a child?

With any couple it's important that you talk about having a baby or children seriously before going through the process. It's a lifetime commitment to another human being with no take backs! Having a child needs to be a choice that feels comfortable within yourself and as a couple. As well as deciding to become more involved in your partners offspring is a serious matter, the attachment a child forms can be a model for future relationships, and as you all know abandonment can stay scared beyond the early years.

In the LGBT world we have so many obstacles as it is and walls we need to break through it is vital for a child's success that you have to be willing to accept and educate the challenges that you'll have to face as a Lesbian mom or LGBT parent. Being stable in all areas of life will make the journey of having children a lot easier, so explore where you are financial, career wise, mentally, emotionally, and as a relationship. One big mistake so many people do, no matter what our sexual orientation, is to have a child to keep the relationship. The truth is that having a baby is so stressful from conception to the delivery and beyond that if there is no solid foundation within your relationship it will crumble!  So are you ready?

Alex Karydi's picture

Save your Gay soul before you get RIGHTS!

I'm writing in anger and frustration! I am saddened by the world I live in and the social ignorance I am surrounded by. People have asked me if I want my face on my article or want the fact that I am gay broadcasted, wondering if I worry about people finding out.

Are you serious?  You think I should hide because I am gay, because I love women? Because I want the same rights as everyone else and one day MARRY the woman of my dreams.  Do you want me silent and deaf to your cruel and uneducated remarks?  You have another thing coming!  Not only will I not stay quite, not only will I not hide, I will stand proud and strong and I will fight for everything I am and for my community!  I will fight for a life I want and deserve.

But more than anything I will fight for my child, so that she never has to hear in her lifetime someone tell her that her mother has a mental illness, is brain-damaged, or is choosing to be a homosexual and will go to hell (which unfortunately has been told to me on several occasions.)  I am going to fight so the women, human beings I connect with and love can share my life with me and without worries about not having the same Privileges and Rights as every other committed married couple.

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