LGBT Nation

Alex Karydi's picture

For My Child's Sake...

Lying in bed with my baby beside me, I  feel her little body wiggling underneath the blanket. I love her so much, a love deeper then any other I have ever known. I am left unsettled with the fact that I may leave this world behind, leaving my child alone in it. 

As dark as it sounds, and maybe provoked by the anniversary of my mother’s death, I often cry at the thought of dying and leaving her in this mess of a planet. This is a scary world where others, most, live in terms of their beliefs no matter how unrealistic or skewed. 

This week surprisingly has brought about many dark impressions into my thoughts. On Monday my daughter fell and hit her head on a corner, so hard that it left a mark and bruise. Now I know that this may seem like a little booboo, especially to those with two or more kids, but I have lost my whole family so little booboos are counted as catastrophes in my mind. 

I slept horribly that night, in fact I had a dream about my mother and she was telling me that my daughter had been taken in for surgery due to a compressed spine? I am not even sure if that is a condition but I woke up in cold sweats and in pain. It’s rare for me to dream of her but to see her and to hear that news shook my soul. 

Then on Tuesday while I was listening to Out News on Sirius Fm (of course I listen to gay radio all day long, I am gay for heaven sakes, it’s all I know!) I crushed the polyester cup in my hands which lead to a diet Pepsi exploding all over my brand NEW (5 months old) car. I mean it went everywhere! Why, because I wasn’t paying attention and was completely side tracked by the fact that two marines who hit a gay man in the state of Georgia  are not going to receive any punitive action because throwing a punch for someone looking at you in a “gay way” is not considered a hate crime. Really! 

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