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A Manifesto! The Time Has Come!

October 15, 2009

A Manifesto! The Time Has Come!

I have made a decision.  I will no longer debate the issue of homosexuality in the church with anyone.  I will no longer engage the biblical ignorance that emanates from so many right-wing Christians about how the Bible condemns homosexuality, as if that point of view still has any credibility.  I will no longer discuss with them or listen to them tell me how homosexuality is "an abomination to God," about how homosexuality is a "chosen lifestyle," or about how through prayer and "spiritual counseling" homosexual persons can be "cured."  Those arguments are no longer worthy of my time or energy.  I will no longer dignify by listening to the thoughts of those who advocate "reparative therapy," as if homosexual persons are somehow broken and need to be repaired.  I will no longer talk to those who believe that the unity of the church can or should be achieved by rejecting the presence of, or at least at the expense of, gay and lesbian people.  I will no longer take the time to refute the unlearned and undocumentable claims of certain world religious leaders who call homosexuality "deviant."  I will no longer listen to that pious sentimentality that certain Christian leaders continue to employ, which suggests some version of that strange and overtly dishonest phrase that "we love the sinner but hate the sin."  That statement is, I have concluded, nothing more than a self-serving lie designed to cover the fact that these people hate homosexual persons and fear homosexuality itself, but somehow know that hatred is incompatible with the Christ they claim to profess, so they adopt this face-saving and absolutely false statement.  I will no longer temper my understanding of truth in order to pretend that I have even a tiny smidgen of respect for the appalling negativity that continues to emanate from religious circles where the church has for centuries conveniently perfumed its ongoing prejudices against blacks, Jews, women and homosexual persons with what it assumes is "high-sounding, pious rhetoric."  The day for that mentality has quite simply come to an end for me.  I will personally neither tolerate it nor listen to it any longer.  The world has moved on, leaving these elements of the Christian Church that cannot adjust to new knowledge or a new consciousness lost in a sea of their own irrelevance.  They no longer talk to anyone but themselves. I will no longer seek to slow down the witness to inclusiveness by pretending that there is some middle ground between prejudice and oppression.  There isn't. Justice postponed is justice denied.  That can be a resting place no longer for anyone.  An old civil rights song proclaimed that the only choice awaiting those who cannot adjust to a new understanding was to "Roll on over or we'll roll on over you!"  Time waits for no one.

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Film Director Cast As Hijra: Aarekti Premer Golpo (Just Another Love Story)

By Reshmi Sengupta [The Telegraph]

Rituparno Ghosh on the explorations of the third sex through Chapal Bhaduri, Roop and... Rituparno

The camera is ready.  The stage is set. Kaushik Ganguly, the director of Arekti Premer Golpo, has sent a crew member to fetch his film’s “heroine”, Rituparno Ghosh, from the vanity van. “Just wait and watch. Rituda will walk in like Rekha!” Kaushik smiles.

Wearing a bun and a girlie fringe framing his face, Rituparno strolls into the sets of Aarekti Premer Golpo in soft, measured steps, with the poise and fragility of a shy woman being followed by a dozen male eyes. He is dressed as a young Chapal Bhaduri, the jatra artiste known for playing female roles. Hours before, he was parading the sets as Roop, the gay filmmaker and protagonist of Aarekti Premer Golpo, in jeans, kurta, kohl-lined eyes and manicured nails.

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Longing prayer of the full moon

from Victoria's Sex Blog

i want to be with you
feel your warm hands on my body
your hot mouth on my nipples
your gentle eyes on my vulnerability

i want to wrap myself around you
take you in my arms
cradle your pain
and illuminate your nights with pleasure
i want to give to you my truth;
the reality of a loving body
that returns your passion
that responds to your desires
that smooths away your fears
and melts away your doubts
that can open up for you
the feminine that sleeps down below

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When Love is in the Room

from Victoria's Sex Blog

Over my lifetime, I have had a few sexual encounters with men that I wasn’t really in love with or didn’t know all that well, but never really what you’d call a “one-night-stand”. Except maybe just that once… hmm… wait… does during the day count?

While there was something liberating about having the freedom to make that choice or act on a whim, and to break those deeply ingrained rules about being totally committed and married before even admitting to a man that I had nipples, every experience had its pros and cons. Alot of what led to letting things happen in those moments was a really intense desire to be touched, so intense that it clouded any other decision-making faculty. I remember as a teenager that previously unfathomable aching, longing to be touched, kissed and penetrated, often exacerbated by popular music and its lyrics of romantic desire. Do women feel a physical longing as intensely as men do, or it is more in our minds? Male or female, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or metrosexual, there really aren’t any “norms” and it doesn’t matter. Each of us is wired differently and acts and reacts according to an unique system of communication and response, of fears and desires.

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Vesta. Photo by Eric Francis.

We were standing in the doorway of her room when the shift had us feeling one another differently. We took a leap above contention and reached a place where we admitted how badly and for how long guilt had stalked us. Through our lives, that is. It felt so good to hear that acknowledged by one I consider sane and loving. I finally had affirmation that my own struggle was not evidence of my being a bad person.

We stood together in the most fragile humility. We understood something new about ourselves and one another, a bond wrought of the deeply private nature of the subject: self condemnation.

“And the fear,” I said. “There is always so much that can go wrong. I could be scared all the time.”

She glanced at me, nodded slowly and said yes.

It felt so good to be with someone who in that moment understood. The fear. I felt then and there that I might go beyond it for the first time; that I could see a way.

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Verbal Images of Intimacy

from Victoria's Sex Blog

Tonight I give you the image of a man, not a baby, joyfully sucking on a woman’s breast. This is a drawing from the early series I did with Francesca from pornographic images. I would go through hundreds of porn photos, in magazines or on the Internet, trying to find those with a little bit of tenderness, then I’d draw them… tenderly… as if I was pencilling in the love that I felt was missing in the original image. After awhile I got more comfortable, courageous, even brazen, and was able to draw sexual positions or situations that disgusted the prude in me, and discovered that love, injected into anything, transforms it. It’s like looking at an act through different glasses, in this case a sexual act, but without applying shame or judgement, it loses it’s negative aspect and can show its simplicity and beauty because it’s being seen from a completely different perspective.

I have been thinking too much about how to express intimacy through imagery, and the thinking led me to think that it’s not worth doing. Right. No more thinking. What I decided to do instead, is the doing… by drawing, writing, expressing a perspective on intimacy. First I looked up some quotes, and found some VERY entertaining ones I’d like to share:

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Sex in the middle of the night

from Victoria's Sex Blog

It’s funny, at least I think it is… that I write regularly about sexuality yet talking about it can still be so awkward. I went to an artist’s seminar last week and just couldn’t bring myself to explain to the others what exactly I do… I just told them I “draw nudes” and left it at that. But at the art store, where I’ve started working part-time again, people seem to get it. When I describe what I do and why, they seem to recognize the need for it, and they want to know more. Last night my adult children, who are only a year or two into adulthood, were joking around about “the parents” (of which I am one of many if you count their boyfriend and girlfriends’ divorced and reconnected parents too) - and the comment that struck me as I was walking away towards the kitchen – was that the very thought of us “older people” having sex was gross.

I wish I could tell them how much better sex gets as you grow older and get to know yourself better and allow yourself to explore different avenues, which may include new partners, positions, conditions and even “props”. But particularly how much the contact with a lover deepens when you’ve practiced something so special for a long time together. I can’t tell them, and I won’t even try; they will figure that out themselves as they age and mature, each in their own special way.

Something that popped into my mind about this evolution was my vastly different experiences of sex in the middle of the night. First there were those teenage years, waiting for the parents to go out or fall asleep so my first boyfriend and I could desperately grope each other on the couch. And although I was much older, even early on in my relationship with Darren, we stayed up so late making love, sometimes night after night, that I remember dragging myself around like a limp noodle at work, yawning like crazy, and swearing I had to cut back but of course not really planning to… ever! 

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We are a nature masterpiece


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Family: A Delightful Polyamory Web Series

Set in a fictional Seattle community of people living a polyamorous life, "Family" centers around the lives of three characters living together in a polyamorous relationship.  The series is written & directed by Terisa Greenan, featuring the music of Christopher Bingham (, and starring Seattle actors Amber Rack, Ernie Joseph and Eric Smiley.

It airs online on their youtube channel (3DogPictures), their facebook group (Family - the webseries), and on their own 3 Dog site and you can view UNCENSORED episodes at:  They air new episodes approximately 2 times per month.  In November, the entire series will be available for purchase from 3 Dog Pictures on DVD.

"Not What the Neighbors Think" - Meet the "family" in this first episode. Gemma, Ben and Stuart are just your typical, polyamorous triad, living in a monogamous world.

h/t to Serena Anderlini for bringing this series to my attention.


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On the eve of Virgo

Dina. Photograph by Eric Francis.

Nowhere in the feminist literature that I’ve read have I encountered the idea that women deserve to be released from the requirement of monogamy, as a basic facet of holding full personhood.

One reason why this concept may not have surfaced in the past is because actual discussion of monogamy or any form of fidelity is unusual. We usually talk about it when someone violates the unwritten, often unspoken code that we are supposed to be one another’s property.

Rare is it for there to be a conscious, tangible agreement between two (or more) people.

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