victorias sketchbook's picture

Intimacy Beyond Boundaries

lovemagician's picture

The Heart of Polyamory: Love Interrupted

By Millie Jackson

It gets tiresome hearing songs and watching movies that feature someone making a heart-wrenching choice between two people they love because the rules of monogamy prohibit having more than one lover (though it commonly occurs). This classic Hollywood storyline could get a much needed rest if polyamory were put into play, and plots would be anything but boring. Writers would have unlimited possibilities to create refreshing alternatives to the lose/lose scenario of heartbreak and abandonment--someone left out in the cold while others are often haunted by their own choices.

Why are so many people offended by a win/win mentality—as if there is something wrong with having it both ways (or three or four or more ways)? Isn’t that actually ideal--all parties getting to be more satisfied and being happy for and with one another? Instead, we short-change ourselves in the romantic realm when in reality we could honestly and lovingly negotiate win/win/win relationships—thriving on abundance with all involved benefiting.

victorias sketchbook's picture

A visual celebration of intimacy

A visual celebration of intimacy… that’s the definition of the new word I made up to describe my artwork when I was pissed off at being called a pornographer. Today’s post is part II of the issue brought up in that blog; it’s rather lovely resolution. Intimography: a visual celebration of intimacy. I even made some business cards for myself with intimographer under my name, but so far everybody who’s read it says: “whaaaat?” New visions take time to catch on I suppose. People thought Vincent Van Gogh was crazy too and look at all the beauty he left us.

The human body is beautiful. And love is the most beautiful thing I know. When human bodies are used to actively love each other, it’s an even more incredibly-beautiful thing. Because that is  how I’ve always wanted sex to be for me, that’s why  draw it this way. I draw loving images of sex to replace the images of pornography that turn me off. Unlike what one might expect from erotic artwork, I do not do these drawings to turn myself on, either (or anyone else for that matter, even if they may have that effect). It’s more like a process of making peace.

arvan's picture

Goddamn Yogis!



No, not him.







Not him, either.


This ass-hat is the one I'm talking about.!

Yogi Baba Ramdev is now calling for the Indian High Court to reverse its dismissal of the British Colonial outlaw of homosexuality. 

He claims:

"homosexuality is a disease that is curable" and that [the] "right to privacy as a facet of right to life cannot include the right to enjoy deviant sexual preferences and sexual behaviour." Source: IndiePal

And, by 'cure' he means signing up for his next 16 week yoga class at the Discover An Asshole Center. 

ChantelleAustin's picture

Sometimes you just don't know till you get there

Well it was a night that didn't go to plan and I'm not going to go into detail but it highlighted something that I think other couples should be aware of.

arvan's picture

Fat Sex: Personal Relationships

This video is posted by a group called the Fatastic 5, in particular a woman identified as Natasha.  I looked at their youtube channel for topics and content quality.  I think they bring a great deal of positive, honesty and directness to the conversation of sex, gender, body. 

This particular video is a good opening example of the forethought and real life experiences that many of us have in relating to and accepting our own bodies.  Check them out and subscribe to their youtube channel.


lovemagician's picture

The Heart of Polyamory: A Book Worth Opening Up

My local polyamory support and networking group hosts a bi-monthly book discussion.   This has been a great incentive for me to read a variety of books related to polyamory.  Having historically not dedicated much of my life to reading (sadly, not even some of the books assigned in high school and college), a large percentage of the books I have now read are about aspects of consensual nonmonogamy. 

Though there is an ever-growing number of books on the topic written with varying degrees of expertise, one I am definitely recommending was our group’s most recent selection, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino (2008).   A variety of relationship styles are addressed including partnered nonmonogamy, swinging, polyamory and monogamy/nonmonogamy combinations.  I particularly appreciate Taormino’s distinction of polyamory from other forms of nonmonogamy.  I am often frustrated by the confusion that is perpetuated by the over-use of the term “polyamory” when there are other descriptive terms that better capture a specific relationship type that truly is fundamentally distinct from poly (such as swinging).  Taormino does a wonderful job of fleshing this out.

Polyamory gets a lot of coverage in Taormino’s book and she also delineates as separate relationship styles solo polyamory (choosing not to have a primary partner while none-the-less being dedicated to polyamory), polyfidelity (a committed primary partnership with more than two people) and mono/poly combinations (an agreement where one partner is monogamous while the other is nonmonogamous).  I do not consider these relationship dynamics to be separate from polyamory; but by treating them as distinct and addressing them in their own chapter, Taormino is able to highlight the nuances of each.

Serena Anderlini's picture

The G Tales: Episode 2 - Three: Or, Why Is Mono Poly Too? (Part 1 of 2)

(Sculpture by Regina Reinhardt)


“The dichotomy between selfless and selfish love is deluded because affectional types of love are necessary for our survival as a species, and are therefore not as selfless as they are believed to be. It is self-defeating because all forms of love have an erotic component, the denial of which causes unhappiness and produces substantial amounts of hatred, often enough to defeat the forces of love.”  From Gaia and the New Politics of Love: Notes for a Poly Planet

“one must learn to love one before one can love many,” from Intimate Dialogs

“amor ch’a nullo amato amar perdona,” from La Divina Commedia

“love, that releases no beloved from loving” (Allen Mandelbaum tr)

The latest about G is that she’s not dead. She’s actually doing well, she tells me. Enjoying the summer, and thinking about numbers.

“Is mono part of poly?” she asks on the phone.

“How can it be,” I say, “if you’re mono you’re not poly. It’s either poly or mono. Don’t you know about those famous mono partners and the havoc they can cause, how they always manage to spoil the game?”

Annabelle River's picture

The Mary Kay Epilogue


I love Susie Bright. I first discovered her essays when I was in college, and I give her a lot of credit for my college epiphany that being a feminist and being a slut were not, after all mutually exclusive: That not only could I be an empowered woman and a masochist cock-craver, but that I could only become an empowered woman if I let go of the shame for my honest sexual desires. Thank you Susie Bright. I still follow her blog eagerly, although most of the time now it makes me feel like her proverbial preacher's choir.

Then, a couple weeks ago, Susie Bright covered the current whereabouts of Mary Kay Fualaau, better known to people who had access to television in the 1990's as Mary Kay Letourneau. For those who don't remember, Mary Kay Letourneau was imprisoned in 1997 for having sex with and becoming impregnated by her thirteen-year-old student, Vili Fualaau. She was released in January 1998, but by February she went back to jail for planning to run away with boy, and that October she gave birth to their second child. In 2001, Vili Fualaau's mother sued the school and police for failing to keep her son safe, but she lost: Police attorney Anne Bremner successfully convinced a jury, "Fualaau and Letourneau still 'see themselves as Romeo and Juliet' and want to get married... adding that there was nothing anyone could have done to keep the two apart." Letourneau finished her second jail sentence in 2004, at which point Fualaau, then 21, successfully petitioned the court to let him see her again. They married in 2005, in a ceremony covered by Entertainment Tonight. And now they have celebrated their fourth marriage anniversary, and host an event in a Seattle bar called "Hot for Teacher."

Syndicate content
Powered by Drupal, an open source content management system