arvan's picture

Betty Bowers explains Marriage in the Bible

 I love this lady, I really do.  She makes even the most arbitrary collection of gobbledygook and delusional ravings of sun-cooked lunatics seem like the mere simplistic hypocrisy that it is.

arvan's picture

FAT SEX: About Positions and Attitudes

I found this post at Dimensions Magazine.  It is frank and somewhat irreverent, written with a flippant usage of the word 'fat', which may be a trigger.  Nevertheless, if you read along, you will find that the position is to dispel, shatter and assault the negative myths and stereotypes about the sexual experience of large people.

The Mythology of Obesity tells us that sex with a fat partner is either fruitless or impossible. It's a prejudice that crosses all boundaries of race, class, education, and physique: you're as likely to encounter it in a gynecologist's office as in the pages of The National Lampoon.

In the real world, sex is more likely to be impeded by anxiety than adiposity. Fear of rejection, fear of not meeting the partner's expectations, and fear of not being able to perform are among the most common emotional barriers to intercourse. Some dysfunctional people harbor feelings of guilt over their sexual needs, or lack the skill or desire to stimulate their partner. Even mild anxiety can impede or disable sexual performance. Ignorance and inexperience contribute their own problems. "Frequently, for instance" reveals Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan in Psychology Today, "neither spouse knows where the clitoris is or recognizes its potential for eliciting erotic pleasure. They have intercourse as soon as the husband has an erection, and he ejaculates without considering whether his partner is ready. Such couples genuinely wonder why the wife does not reach orgasm."

Fat people suffer all these problems in spades. The social pressures they endure create numerous obstacles to sexual interaction. The most direct effect comes from dieting: prolonged semistarvation can seriously dampen the libido, and a woman who is losing weight can experience a disruption of her normal menstrual cycle. Indirect effects of prejudice include a lack of opportunity, a history of rejection, and a negative body image. "Some obese woman, fearful of competing for a man's interest, avoid interpersonal encounters and disparage males in general," writes Dr. Barbara E. Bess in the journal Consultant. "Once involved in a relationship, they doubt the partner's sincerity." Self-hatred manifests itself in a number of anti-erotic behaviors. "Some women are reluctant to act seductively for fear of rejection and ridicule. Young women ... express the desire to look 'sexy' and wear seductive clothes, but fear that men in particular will think them grotesque. ... Many obese persons attempt to hide their bodies under cover of darkness, or keep their clothes on during sexual intimacy."

lovemagician's picture

Dispelling the Myths


(Image courtesy of CultureVulture)

The Heart of Polyamory

By Millie Jackson

Being polyamorous is not determined by how many relationships someone has, but is defined by the capacity to be in love with more than one person at a time.  How polyamory translates into someone’s life can look very different from one person to the next, but polyamorists tend to agree that it espouses the tenets of honesty and consensuality practiced ethically.

When people talk about their objections to polyamory they often describe scenarios that are not polyamorous, usually referring to someone being dishonest with lovers or misleading prospective partners.  The problems they portray always come down to some unethical behavior like lying, manipulation or violating agreements.  If it is not honest, ethical and consensual, then it’s not polyamory.

Although many people automatically make unfounded assumptions, learning that someone is polyamorous reveals nothing about that person’s life-style, sexual orientation, (past, present or future) relationship dynamics, approach to sex, etc.  Polyamorists are a melting pot of diversity.  By design, how polyamorists choose to structure relationships is up to them and their partners and is very individualistic.

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