polyamory

arvan's picture

Family: A Delightful Polyamory Web Series

Set in a fictional Seattle community of people living a polyamorous life, "Family" centers around the lives of three characters living together in a polyamorous relationship.  The series is written & directed by Terisa Greenan, featuring the music of Christopher Bingham (www.gaiaconsort.com), and starring Seattle actors Amber Rack, Ernie Joseph and Eric Smiley.

It airs online on their youtube channel (3DogPictures), their facebook group (Family - the webseries), and on their own 3 Dog site and you can view UNCENSORED episodes at: http://www.nwlive.tv/family.  They air new episodes approximately 2 times per month.  In November, the entire series will be available for purchase from 3 Dog Pictures on DVD.

"Not What the Neighbors Think" - Meet the "family" in this first episode. Gemma, Ben and Stuart are just your typical, polyamorous triad, living in a monogamous world.

h/t to Serena Anderlini for bringing this series to my attention.

-arvan

book of blue's picture

On the eve of Virgo

Dina. Photograph by Eric Francis.

Nowhere in the feminist literature that I’ve read have I encountered the idea that women deserve to be released from the requirement of monogamy, as a basic facet of holding full personhood.

One reason why this concept may not have surfaced in the past is because actual discussion of monogamy or any form of fidelity is unusual. We usually talk about it when someone violates the unwritten, often unspoken code that we are supposed to be one another’s property.

Rare is it for there to be a conscious, tangible agreement between two (or more) people.

arvan's picture

Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio: Reading and book signing 9/15/09

Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio @ 8pm.

Il Trapezio Cafe/Gallery on 09/15/09

120 Franklin Ave., (near Harrison St.), Nutley, NJ 07110

973-661-1580.

Gaia and the New Politics of Love: Notes for a Poly Planet by Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio, PhD

"A world where it is safe to live is a world where it is safe to love"

A Reading Hosted by Daniel P. Quinn, Producer Early-Bird Special includes book and standard order

Gaia and the New Politics of Love explains how to practice the arts of loving as a form of the arts of healing, which includes creating and sustaining amorous communities through shared amorous resources. Practicing the arts of loving activates the cycle of oxytocin in the human brain (the so-called "cuddling" hormone) that enables people to trust each other, display amorous behavior with one another, and cooperate in solving problems, thereby creating sustainability in their environments and communities. Through the practice of these new politics of loving we can transform hatred into love, fear into hope, and scarcity into abundance.

book of blue's picture

Holding the mirror

Photo by Eric Francis.

Sister P,

OK I get the picture.

Yes, polyamorous situations call for us to have a high level of integrity, mutual awareness, generosity and this elusive thing called compersion. I am familiar with the hemisphere effect: being of “two minds,” and the love/approach vs. guilt/avoid. The self-hate is guilt, if you ask me, we just don’t usually call it that because guilt implies something is actually wrong when it usually is not. We come up against all this shadow stuff fast and can feel really weird when it happens because we are so accustomed to self-reproach when we feel it.

A selflove-in is a group masturbation experience. Now, the one I’m planning for the Loving More conference in a few weeks will likely have about 25 present (since it’s a conference and you have a large captive audience, of curious people). I prefer five to seven people present so we can all track one another. This might be a good time to sculpt the whole thing with some craftsmanship. Maybe take it as far as admission by interview. Truly see if there is some common ground.

Cerberus's picture

A Note to My Metamour

One year ago today, the structure of my life and my relationship changed rather fundamentally.

Serena Anderlini's picture

The G Tales Tale # 3: Five: Or, a Constellation of Books, Bi and Queer

(Prologue)

by Serena Anderlini

“when bisexuality is “real” (in both a symbolic and a material sense), then the nature of love changes too . . . from an exclusive, dyadic system to an inclusive one that expands beyond the dual and into the multiple” from Bisexuality and Queer Theory, “Introduction” (forthcoming)

There’s news about G. She has been enjoying the tropical summer and has been reading.

She called me, “the summer has been beautiful” she said, “my first here, dressing up funny and enjoying a laugh with a bunch of local people.”

“What kinds of people?” I asked.

“All kinds, sexual diversity is exploding here, it must be the Spain effect, you know: Spain becoming so progressive in all kinds of queer issues. All across Latin America you can feel it: people are coming out, they are coming together, there is effervescence, excitement, thriving communities--I can’t believe it!”

“And what have you been doing?”

“Exporting bi and poly ideas, getting a good listening, feeling more situated, modeling three-way hugging and kissing.”

“And what else?”

lovemagician's picture

The Heart of Polyamory: An Open Book

By Millie Jackson 

I just finished reading Jenny Block’s 2008 book, Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage.  Many books on polyamory and other forms of nonmonogamy are instructional “how to” books.  Block’s book, however, follows her personal journey of owning and embracing her sexuality and designing a relationship structure that works for her and her partners.  

The “how to” books usually include short excerpts from case histories, interviews, questionnaires, and/or the author’s personal experiences, but none I have read have ever included a cover-to-cover story as comprehensive as Block’s.  Someone can read through the “how to” books and never quite grasp how this love-style/life-style can play out in a relationship.  Block paints a vivid picture in a very open, honest and real way.

Her story illustrates that it is a continual process to evolve as a sexual being and to tailor styles of relating uniquely accommodating to the individuals involved.  Although she is very content with how her relationships are going at the end of the book, Block acknowledges that they will continue to develop. 

lovemagician's picture

The Heart of Polyamory: Love Interrupted

By Millie Jackson

It gets tiresome hearing songs and watching movies that feature someone making a heart-wrenching choice between two people they love because the rules of monogamy prohibit having more than one lover (though it commonly occurs). This classic Hollywood storyline could get a much needed rest if polyamory were put into play, and plots would be anything but boring. Writers would have unlimited possibilities to create refreshing alternatives to the lose/lose scenario of heartbreak and abandonment--someone left out in the cold while others are often haunted by their own choices.

Why are so many people offended by a win/win mentality—as if there is something wrong with having it both ways (or three or four or more ways)? Isn’t that actually ideal--all parties getting to be more satisfied and being happy for and with one another? Instead, we short-change ourselves in the romantic realm when in reality we could honestly and lovingly negotiate win/win/win relationships—thriving on abundance with all involved benefiting.

Serena Anderlini's picture

Interview with Serena Anderlini by Camilia Raznovich (Tatami Rai Tre)

Tatami RaiTre

February 15th, 2009

Script of the Interview with Serena Anderlini-D’Onofrio, Minutes: 20-30

Participants: Hostess Camilla Raznovich; Guests: Serena Anderlini, Michela Marzano, Ricky Tognazzi

Camilla Raznovich: Good evening, Serena Anderlini, theorist and practitioner of polyamory, a topic about which she has written many books. So, I’d like to understand how you figured out that you had a tendency to love more than one partner at the same time.

Serena Anderlini: I figured it out because I loved the people with whom my partners fell in love. If they fell in love with them, I fell in love with them too, and so I wanted to transform the negative energies of hatred, envy, jealousy, into a positive energy in which I was able to share this love. It was a rather long path because one cannot easily transform a negative sentiment into a positive one, one has to go though a whole process of inner transformation, a spiritual process that makes one capable of embracing a type of love that is not possessive. For me this is comparable to a father, or a mother, who have twelve children. Will the twelve children be less loved? No. At times in these big families people love each other a lot, so why can’t this multiplicity also happen also in the area of partners, why? Why is love for our children supposed to be altruistic and love for one’s partners egotistic? Why?

CR: And at this time, how many partners do you have?

SA: I didn’t come here to tell you that. It’s none of your business. (Applause.)

CR: But you have more than one at the same time?

SA: Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.

lovemagician's picture

The Heart of Polyamory: Independence Daze

 

By Millie Jackson

Around the 4th of July, I always find myself thinking a lot about freedom.  Freedom, as in having full license and liberty to be our true selves, trusting the power of our individuality and having the strength and courage to stand apart instead of being controlled by outside influences.  Self-acceptance is at the heart of emotional wellness and healthy self-expression.

Every year, I use this holiday to assess how freely I am expressing my genuine self.  Having never been comfortable in the closet, I am continually expanding the ways that I am visible and vocal as a polyamory activist and member of the LGBTQ community. 

How free are you in expressing who you authentically are (not necessarily in regard to your sexuality but in all aspects of your being)?  How influenced are you by what someone else has determined to be right, wrong, moral, normal, etc?  Are you trying to define yourself within the context of someone else’s antiquated and fear-filled ideologies?  Trying to be someone else’s definition of “normal” deprives this world of the gift of our unique and beautiful expressions.

Just because “normal” is “the usual or expected state corresponding with a pattern” does not mean it is necessarily healthy or productive.  Having rarely fallen into the category, I am suspicious of that which is considered “normal”.  I see how adeptly fear and misunderstanding have been used to manipulate people on behalf of narrow and corrupt agendas for the sake of preserving “tradition”. 

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