prejudice

Sarraltmuslimah's picture

There are Just no Good Muslim Women Out There



I shouldn’t take this any further. Apart from not being true, it’s a diatribe that obfuscates something deeper (just as the parallel, but unnervingly more standard retreat, "Where are all the good Muslim men?" does). The degree of intelligent, sincere, socially conscious, and admirable Muslim women I meet is staggering, many of whom in a previous life I wouldn’t have hesitated asking out to dinner to get to know better. Yet, I find myself simply put off by Muslim women.

I need to be honest; it isn’t just Muslim women, but the whole relationship process in Muslim communities that utterly perplexes me. I can’t help but feel as though I am wandering aimlessly confused through two concurrent tempestuous storms – that of the normal bafflement that marks emotional relationships between people, and that of the Muslim relationship paradigm, the absurdities of both obscuring my ability to progress to something meaningful.

This is exacerbated by the context from which I come. As someone who converted to Islam, the difference in male-female dynamics can be astounding. More than the physical barriers that I learned to adopt, it is the emotional ones that have proven the most difficult. Charles Blow wrote an article for the New York Times last year on the demise of dating in American relationships, where he described the dissolution of traditional dating and the shift to ‘hooking up,’ where you “just hang out with friends and hope something happens.” Approaching relationships from this background, and then inverting it to fit the Muslim experience that, even when it involves dating seems to be primarily focused on practical matchmaking, is difficult. It takes what was a personal, intimate, organic process and changes it into something that feels hollow and decidedly detached. I miss how things used to be.

Christina Engela's picture

Bloed Skande

Bloed Skande - in Afrikaans, literally translated, means "blood scandal" - and yes, I think what is being done to the dignity, equality and humanity of gay and transgender people wherever discrimination is being enforced by blood services, is nothing less than scandalous.

I read the linked article "Transgender blood donors in New Zealand" on the topic of discrimination against gay and transsexual or transgender blood donors in New Zealand. The idiotic reasoning employed by the NZ blood service appears to match the callous stupidity of our own here in South Africa - although it must be said that while NZ employs a 5 year ban on such blood donors, SA "only" imposes a 6 month ban - although, no matter which way you slice the pie, if you are a gay male or transsexual or transgender individual who wishes to be a full-time blood donor - you are still expected to remain celibate as long as you intend being a blood donor.

The article was written by a transsexual New Zealander who encountered this prejudice and irrational thinking present in the NZ policy and laid it out in her article. "The 5 year penalty [on transsexual blood donors] was put in place," She said "because until I have my vaginoplasty done, all sex with my [heterosexual] boyfriend is considered homosexual . But upon gaining a vagina, sex with my boyfriend magically becomes heterosexual!"

Here is the clincher: "I asked whether or not I could engage in anal sex after my surgery. The answer was yes, it would be no different to a cis woman having anal sex (i.e. it [anal sex] does not disqualify women from donating blood). Again, the ownership of a vagina magically qualifies me, regardless of how I have intercourse."
Christina Engela's picture

Gun Crime And The Scourge Of Pink Dinosaurs

Last night I read a news article on Pinknews about some bright spark who has claimed in a press release that there is a direct link between the gay rights movement and gun crime.




Gay rights are responsible for gun crime?
 
Huh?
 
Apparently this man, a certain Robert Peters - called a "morality campaigner" - is the president of Morality in Media, an organization founded in the early 1960's to "combat pornography". Apparently in its latest crusades it has tried to ban "Cosmopolitan" magazine from store shelves and started (yet another) frivilous 'wear-a-ribbon-for...' campaign against pornography. I'm sorry, but that is just sooo nineties. If this keeps up, bored conservative housewives will have different ribbons for every day of the week.
 
My, my - what a worthwhile calling, truly noble. Save the endangered "Moral-osaurus", people - it is dying out! Where can I buy a ticket? I want to watch. Get real, folks.

Christina Engela's picture

Feeling Threatened?




Later today, Ecclesia de Lange, an ordained minister of the Methodist church, who is a lesbian - goes on trial for being married. If it weren't heartless and inhuman, it would be laughable. A day or two ago I received notification of the drama unfolding in a South African Methodist church. Let me start off by quoting from the Facebook support group:

Ecclesia & Amanda were recently married. After Ecclesia announced the news to her congregations she was charged by her Superintendent Minister for being in breach of the discipline of the Methodist Church of Southern Africa. While the MCSA affirms the place of homosexual people in its membership, leadership and ministry, the Church at this stage still only recognises marriage between heterosexuals. Homosexual marriage is still a matter of great debate in the Church and Methodist ministers are not allowed to conduct homosexual marriages. So the Church is at the place where it welcomes and affirms gay members but it cannot celebrate and affirm the natural consequence of two people who love each other and who wish to commit to each other in a public religious ceremony. Sadly the Church seems to encourage deception and subterfuge from its gay members and ministers who are indeed already living together in committed relationships, reminiscent of the American military's 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. Ecclesia very bravely refused to hide or to lie about her commitment to Amanda and was married at a religious ceremony by an ordained minister of another denomination.

Ecclesia will appear before a disciplinary hearing at the Edgemead Methodist Church on the 12th of January at 16:00. Please join us for a silent prayer vigil at the church to pray for Ecclesia and to show support for her.

The intention of the show of support on the 12th is not to try to pressurise the Church into changing its policy. That could happen at another more appropriate forum. We will be there to love and to pray for Ecclesia and Amanda. We will be there to pray for the Commission as it deliberates. We will be there to pray for the Church.

Please feel free to post words of encouragement on the wall or to start a discussion thread."
I find it incredible when people who claim to value marriage above living together - which they claim is a "sin" - attack and discriminate against us when we marry. Funny that they're not happy about that either. Go figure. I wonder, is this opposition to same gender marriage in order to continue claiming that gay people are "immoral"?

Christina Engela's picture

Blood Feud

 

Every year around December the South African National Blood Service starts shouting frantically that blood stocks are low and that they are desperately in need of donors. This past month I have seen the familiar call on lamp post advertising and in newspaper headings, heard their plaintive whining for blood on the radio and on TV - and cursed theSANBS under my breath every single time.

And every year around this time, many people will answer this call - whether out of civic duty or simply out of helpfulness and love for their fellow human beings, they will go to donation centers to answer this call to satiate South Africa's lust for blood.

What I find both sad and hypocritical in this scenario, is the fact that every year this time, many people who do so, will find themselves turned away and indirectly told that neither they, nor their blood - are good enough for the high and mighty standards of the SANBS.

I find it unbelievable that despite this "shortage of blood" which has the SANBS in such a flat spin annually, gay or bisexual men and transgender people are still banned from donating blood - based on fairy-tales, right-wing junk-science and plain old-fashioned prejudice.
arvan's picture

Advocacy groups denounce Salvation Army’s human trafficking campaign

By Pivot Legal Society and FIRST

(From Cybersolidaires)

Advocates for sex workers’ and women’s rights are demanding an end to the Salvation Army “The Truth Isn’t Sexy” campaign. On September 25, 2009, the Salvation Army is asking its supporters to participate in “group prayers” where they will place mannequins in tattered white dresses stained with fake blood outside strip clubs and massage parlours. In 2008, the Salvation Army launched the campaign with a series of shocking public advertisements depicting women in situations of danger and violence.

The upcoming “weekend of prayer” will take place in cities around the world and will involve actions targeting sex workers and their workplaces. In May of this year, the Salvation Army was forced to apologize for a similar campaign in Australia.

arvan's picture

"If we're the same, then how am I better than you?"

Here is a great discussion on why heterosexuals can be threatened by the idea of gay marriage.  It is presented by Dr. Michael Schmitt, Associate Professor at Simon Fraser University and Director of the Self in Social Context Lab (SISC).

This video has some background info, so if you're impatient or don't like academic presentations - skip to 30 minutes in and dig the phat tracks he lays down.

Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage: The Role of Heterosexual Identity

 

h/t to LGBT Latest Science

arvan's picture

Controversial Novel Set To Tap Into The Overlooked

By Simangele Mzizi (Behind The Mask)

SOUTH AFRICA - 04 September 2009: A punchy, in your face, unapologetic and exciting novel titled, I Aint Yo Bitch by Jabulile Ngwenya, is set to keep a few tongues wagging, a must read but definitely not for the faint hearted.

Published by Paper Bag Publishing, I Aint Yo Bitch was launched at the Wits Writing Centre, on 20 August 2009.

Ngwenya said by writing this book she deliberately wanted to advocate for tolerance and initiate dialogue in the black community about homosexuality and hate crimes.

“People should talk about why a woman has to be killed because she is lesbian”, she says.

The book is about an emerging lesbian hip hop performer Tebogo and explores her relationships with her band members and female groupies.

LaPrincipessa's picture

Ignorance- conscious or subconscious?

(Click image to see larger version)
 
Back in 2008, right before the elections, Nate silver of fivethirtyeight.com had an analysis of the political bent of Portland, Oregon; concluding that Portland is by far the most liberal city in America.This is something I relish. I am a born and raised Portlander who fully enjoys shopping at Trader Joes, taking public transit, and saving the trees. [any more liberal stereotypes, please insert here] I also pride myself on being very socially aware- specifically in regards to racism and sexism (this includes prejudice against any sex, LGBT community included).

 

Yesterday, as I walked home, I passed the statue pictured above.

How could this be any more wrong?

1. It's a white male.

Is this what Americans look like? Is this what represents fire fighters? Do not fire fighters, and all Americans, come in all shapes, sizes and colors?

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