pro-porn

rabbitwhite's picture

Where is Our Porn?

On my laptop there is an ever-increasing  folder of images.  Some of them, like this one (found here) end up as photos on Rabbit Write. But many, you’ll probably never see. They are, plainly, porn. I have this worry-fantasy, where a friend or someone will pull up my laptop to find these naked bodies projected on the screen, or worse, a video on pause.

This is all the more mortifying if the friend I am imagining is a woman. Women, in my experience, don’t really talk with each other about porn. There seems to be some silent rule which says: “No!” And “…seriously? Ew.”

There are a lot of reasons that women don’t watch porn, aside from the background noise that brainwashes en masse “porn is wrong porn degrades women.” It seems a lot of women just don’t connect with porn. But  I don’t think it’s because women aren’t as visual. There is not lot of porn out there made for women, especially straight women. Yet, new research shows that while men are the large purveyors of porn, women audiences are steadily increasing, growing louder in our silence, apparently.

In junior high, boys started talking about jerking off. It was something to roll your eyes at but it was okay–we knew all boys did it.  When we talked about masturbation amongst each other it was with the idea that it was just weird and gross. As I’ve gotten older, that has lessened, we do talk about masturbation. But it’s through glamorizing it, Hitachi and the rabbit and Sex & the City, some faint hot pink echo of “you go-girl-isms”. But talking about porn, remains taboo, and kind of embarrassing. Talking about porn gives our masturbation a desire.

It seems women are more open about porn with guys.  But in talking with dudes about porn and bonding with them over porn, we often just show we are sharing in their desires, also ogling the women. Not having our own.

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