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Bekhsoos's picture

Dirty Mouth: The Politics of Sex Talk in Public Spaces

I am a dirty mouth who needs to be silenced.

This is what constitutes my parents’ most profound struggle when, before our family Sundays, they remind me every time to “watch it”, keep my mouth shut, and smile. It also must be what my college teachers think of me in the back of their heads when they shake it in reprobation, calling me twisted and other equally dismissive verdicts that always start with: “You need help”. Even among my lesbian friends, I’m always “too much”. Putting aside the fact that I might be too intense, I am a dirty mouth not because I curse a lot or lose myself in interminable gossip sessions – far from that. I am a dirty mouth because I am vocal about sex.

So how do people talk about sex? In medical terms, of course, where sex becomes a necessitous act leading to reproduction for the perpetuation of the species, therefore a post-marital worry. When not explicit, it is hidden and normalized under masks of broader manifests of sexuality, such as inappropriate compliments in the work place and pick-up lines in the streets, otherwise known as “toltish”. However, when the “dirty” side of sex is tackled – that type of sex which only belongs to sheer, “immoral pleasure”, sex talkers find innovative ways to express themselves in complex, poetic terms. The use of extensive metaphors in order to avoid a direct statement suddenly becomes a piece of cake: We did “it”. She wanted to “eat me” but I said no. She still made me “happy” with her “tools”.

Jessica Who's picture

Crossdressing and Leaving the House

 My wife, mother, brother, best friend, cousins, sister-in-law and a ton of buddies and people on the internet know that I crossdress occasionally.

maymay's picture

KinkForAll San Francisco: A free sexuality unconference on March 21 at the Women's Building

Yup, we're at it again. And this time, we're coming to San Francisco. ;)

book of blue's picture

Naked Together on the Playa

This is the third part in a series, inspired by life inside the 2009 Burning Man Poly Paradise.  The first part can be viewed here and the second part is here.

The Lovers

The Lovers. Photo by Eric Francis.

Only once did I speak to her during the session, which was to ask if it was okay if I could photograph her hands and her vulva.  I was soaked in curiosity what she looked like.  She looked at me languidly and nodded yes.  I shifted positions and was treated to the most extraordinary perspective.  And to her scent, which was lush and inviting, mingled with the ubiquitous background of playa dust.

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