rejection

the gay love coach's picture

Rejection Sucks! A Gay Guy's Primer on Dealing With It

Introduction

“Well, it was really nice meeting you, bud, but I don’t really think we’re a match. Good luck to you though!” –or- “Yeah, it was fun! I’ll call you!” –and then the call never comes.

Sound familiar? We’ve all been there at one time or another. You know, that stabbing feeling of being unwanted that’s so hard to shake when it strikes. Yep—rejection! Rejection of all forms is a natural part of being human, from being declined for a job or being refused participation in a certain club. But as a single guy on a quest for a life partner, rejection is an inescapable given in the dating world as you search for a compatible counterpart. There is no way around it!

Now in this article, I’m not going to sugar-coat things and say “just get over it” or “it’s his loss if he doesn’t want to date you.” This type of common advice minimizes the impact rejection really has. The truth of the matter is that rejection sucks! It hurts, it’s no fun, and it can be difficult to swallow at times. But while rejection can be a nasty experience, it is a fact of life that needs to be accepted and embraced in order to survive and triumph over its effects. There’s no easy formula for overcoming the fear of rejection, but what’s offered here are some tips for making the most of it and taking on a new perspective to help you forage on and prevent it from holding you back from accomplishing your relationship goals and dreams.

ChiTownSeeker's picture

Junior High Angst: Self Acceptance Lessons from a Speedo

Speedo

Wherever you go, there you are. Damn, if that had to be the case!

Everyone has their share of baggage. My childhood set came with my parents' divorce at age seven, being raised by a single mom on a teacher's salary, sexual abuse by an uncle, peer rejection and ridicule as a teen, and loneliness and isolation living as an only child.

While I've been on the journey of self acceptance for most of my adult life, had I known the angst those early years would cause me later on, I swear I would have attempted an earlier start!

It's funny how my thoughts and beliefs are still influenced by memories and events 20, 30, even 40 years old now.

Let's take junior high - 7th grade in particular. Some pretty heavy things happened in my life at that time. My mom and I moved to an upper middle class, white, conservative, Republican town, and though most of the time it can suck being the new kid on the block, arriving at my new destination full of pre-teen insecurities took it to a whole new level.

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