Serena Anderlini's picture

Gaia on SGB

Hey folks! 

Nice to meet you on SGB.  It was election week and I had to come up with an intro to my new book, Gaia and the New Politics of Love.  Everyone was excited about the imminent end of the Bush era.  The idea of the book is that we need a new politics of love to stay alive on this little planet we’re all stuck on!  We need to learn the arts of loving each other or else we will simply kill each other off until the last one of us humans is dead.  Ouch!!!  If that’s the case, I want to go first!

Notes for a Poly Planet, the subtitle says.  What’s a poly planet?  Well, that’s the planet we will have when the new politics happens.  We’re not sure yet, it’s a prophecy . . .
So, a new politics of love in both senses: a new way of managing the political aspects of love, and a new way of doing politics that is based on love.  That’s why I thought that a president born from a passion of love was a good foreboding.  Of course he is the president of an empire, and empire that accidentally still calls itself democracy.  But his mother and father must have had the hots for each other, don’t you think?!? 

Annabelle River's picture

Why Would You Get Married?

For the last going-on-three years, my lovers and I have identified as polyamorous. Although I had only learned the word "polyamorous" two years earlier when I found the BDSM community, and I find that most people outside alternate-sexuality communities still haven't heard it. And explaining my whole "weird" philosophy every time both of my lovers come up in conversation gets long-winded and awkwardly personal. So I've discovered that more people recognize the term "open relationship." Not everyone has read The Ethical Slut, but "open relationships" are "normal" enough. I'm in an "open relationship" and then the conversation can move on.

Which was simple enough - until my "primary partner" and I announced that we were going to get married.

the gay love coach's picture

Passion Drought: Turning the Fizzle Back Into Sizzle In Your Relationship; Part 1


Many gay men in both short and long-term relationships report concern when the romance and passion in their partnerships decline or “dry up”, leading them to question themselves and fear for the future of their relationships. An unfortunate consequence of this is that many men break up with their partners prematurely at this point, have affairs, or turn to some form of addiction to cope under the mistaken notion that something is defective or wrong in their relationships. This article is the first in a two-part series and will describe how this phenomenon is a normal occurrence in healthy relationship development and how you can assess your own “relationship red flags” that could reinforce a passionless relationship with your boyfriend or partner.

ChantelleAustin's picture

Where does a relationship go after swinging?

The other day it hit me, at what point does the relationship change from a "swinging" one, to something else? and at what is the something else?

Tetanus's picture

Gay and Christian

My partner is a transman. He was born with a female body, but a male mind. He is now in the process of realizing that male body that he should have been born with.

the gay love coach's picture

Calming the Storm In Your Relationship (for Gay Couples)


Conflict in relationships is inevitable. Put two men together with their own set of needs, values, personality traits, and life histories/experiences and you have a fertile ground for potential differences to cause clashes. This is normal and a necessary precursor for growth in your relationship with your boyfriend or partner. Anger is a common emotion that emerges during conflict. While conflict and anger are normal aspects of building and maintaining a relationship with someone, there are right and wrong ways to manage them. This article will address some ways to defuse anger in your disagreements with your lover to ensure a more positive environment to go about negotiating your differences.

Anger Management 101


It’s important to realize that when two people are angry with each other, very little of any productive significance will come from these interactions because emotions are high and listening skills tend to be overshadowed by defensiveness. Though cliché, the statement “anger is ok, it’s what you do with it that counts” is very pertinent here. During your conflicts with your partner, you are ultimately responsible for your own feelings and anger. Your partner does not make you angry; you choose how you are going to react, regardless of the contributing factors. The goal is to create an atmosphere where you and your boyfriend can have a constructive communication session free of volatile emotions and where you each can feel heard equally.

lovemagician's picture

Dispelling the Myths


(Image courtesy of CultureVulture)

The Heart of Polyamory

By Millie Jackson

Being polyamorous is not determined by how many relationships someone has, but is defined by the capacity to be in love with more than one person at a time.  How polyamory translates into someone’s life can look very different from one person to the next, but polyamorists tend to agree that it espouses the tenets of honesty and consensuality practiced ethically.

When people talk about their objections to polyamory they often describe scenarios that are not polyamorous, usually referring to someone being dishonest with lovers or misleading prospective partners.  The problems they portray always come down to some unethical behavior like lying, manipulation or violating agreements.  If it is not honest, ethical and consensual, then it’s not polyamory.

Although many people automatically make unfounded assumptions, learning that someone is polyamorous reveals nothing about that person’s life-style, sexual orientation, (past, present or future) relationship dynamics, approach to sex, etc.  Polyamorists are a melting pot of diversity.  By design, how polyamorists choose to structure relationships is up to them and their partners and is very individualistic.

alan7388's picture

How Many Bis are Poly? How Many Polys are Bi?

My Hunt for Bi-Poly Statistics

By Alan M.

Compared to other alternative sexualities, polyamory is only starting to get much scientific and academic attention. (Polyamory means having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and free consent of everyone involved.)

Many polys are completely hetero. On the other hand, in the poly community you'll find more bisexuals, and more bi-friendliness, than anywhere else I know. This is despite the fact that in most poly partnership groups, only some of the interrelationships are sexual. The others can be anything from brotherly or sisterly life companionships, to housemate friendships, to cordial acquaintance between people who meet each other rarely if at all. Though often the links do involve full sexual triangles ("equilateral triads") and larger geometries.

You might imagine that in a three-in-a-bed situation, at least two people have to be bisexual. Not so. It's common for two men, or two women, to share cuddles and sex with a beloved third, and warmth and touch between themselves, without having an interest in each others' genitals. It can be quite a revelation that intimate loving companionship does not have to lead to orgasm or require a particular sexual orientation. (Hey, ask the early Christians.)

Nevertheless, bisexuality is abundant in the poly world and does help provide ties that bind.

How abundant? Guesses abound, but I've managed to round up some data.

the gay love coach's picture

Boyfriend Quest: Defining Your Vision


“Why can’t I sustain a relationship for more than two months?” “Aren’t there any decent guys out there?” These are common questions raised by many single gay men describing their frustration and hopelessness with their dating quests for true “boyfriend material.” Trapped in vicious cycles of unfulfilling dating experiences, many gay men begin to feel powerless, disappointed, disillusioned, and jaded. Not only do they begin to lose confidence, but they can even start to succumb to the dangerous stereotypical myth that long-term gay relationships are not possible. Vision is one sure-fire way to short-circuit this belief and create opportunities for getting what you most want.

Lance A Worth's picture


Hey everyone, It's Lance again.

I have been on Testosterone for not quite 3 months and the changes are going great. I'm gaining some of the self-esteem most people take for granted.

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