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You make it what you want it to be

from Victoria's Sex Blog

What do you want out of your sex life? No matter what your background is, what mistakes you think you’ve made, or what misfortunes you’ve come across, you always have something to say about how to envision your own sexuality. You probably already have alot more choice over your sexual identity, actions, and lifestyle than you realize - especially if you live in a part of the world where you have access to this blog – and the many other blogs and images and films and stories that take a positive view of sex. Elsewhere in the world, obviously, there are still many outside barriers that restrict people from the kind of freedom I believe life intended us all to have over our own bodies.

It takes time and experimentation for each of us to discover what exactly having a “sex life” means. For some people, it’s only possible to have one with themselves, during certain periods of their lives or over their lifetime, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance. But it’s the only body you get for this lifetime, so you might as well learn to love and enjoy it on all levels! You can choose to masturbate, or not; you can choose to look at others’ bodies but not touch, or not; and you can choose to look at images of others’ bodies and sexual lifestyles as much as you wish. Or not. There’s only one condition to  truly owning this kind of freedom:  no guilt allowed, no questionning, and no worrying. You must learn to be at peace with yourself and the way you see and experience your unique sexuality.

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When Love is in the Room

from Victoria's Sex Blog

Over my lifetime, I have had a few sexual encounters with men that I wasn’t really in love with or didn’t know all that well, but never really what you’d call a “one-night-stand”. Except maybe just that once… hmm… wait… does during the day count?

While there was something liberating about having the freedom to make that choice or act on a whim, and to break those deeply ingrained rules about being totally committed and married before even admitting to a man that I had nipples, every experience had its pros and cons. Alot of what led to letting things happen in those moments was a really intense desire to be touched, so intense that it clouded any other decision-making faculty. I remember as a teenager that previously unfathomable aching, longing to be touched, kissed and penetrated, often exacerbated by popular music and its lyrics of romantic desire. Do women feel a physical longing as intensely as men do, or it is more in our minds? Male or female, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or metrosexual, there really aren’t any “norms” and it doesn’t matter. Each of us is wired differently and acts and reacts according to an unique system of communication and response, of fears and desires.

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by Colette Coughlin

If we don’t like our bodies, there’s a good chance there’s something deeper about ourselves that is not quite in line with who we truly are and how we really need to live our lives.

We think it’s all up to us… we think we make all the choices… but do we? Just how much control do you think you really have over your existence, your talents, your circumstances… and over your looks? Do you think it was up to you whether you’d be black or white, male or female, homosexual or heterosexual, tall or short, big-busted or flat-chested? Even for your parents, most of these things about you came as complete surprise!

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