maymay's picture

KinkForAll Washington DC: A free sexuality conference where everyone is invited to attend and speak at!

This Saturday, a free and open to the public social and educational event that aims to promote positive ideals of sexuality will be held in the Washington DC metro area for the first time.

Olga Wolstenholme's picture

Navigating the Minefield of Sex, Body & Gender

A friend of mine asked me today to write a more in depth blog post about pubic hair: how people groom, shave and wax, do girls do it more than guys and stuff like that. I figured I should poll some friends and ask them if they 1. altered their pubic hair and 2. what methods they use. Perhaps I over stepped some boundaries when I sent quite a few people the following facebook message:

I’m doing a very informal poll for an article I’m writing on pubic hair and it would be very helpful if you could answer these questions for me.

Do you alter your pubic hair on a regular basis?
If yes, do you trim, shave, wax, etc?

Most people responded with very short answers that contained a yes, or a no, and the method used. One friend sent me a fabulous account of all the changes this habit has undertaken in her life and another asked whether it was confidential and suggested I might be more forthcoming with details in further messages. I agree, I didn’t really put much thought into my email, and I have to admit I pretty much copied and pasted the first message I sent out, which happened to be to a friend who wouldn’t be bothered by the directness of my approach and would automatically know it was for this blog.

wheelchairdancer's picture

Sins Invalid IV: A Review

Sins Invalid is a force to be reckoned with. Make no mistake about that.

victorias sketchbook's picture

Sex in the middle of the night

from Victoria's Sex Blog

It’s funny, at least I think it is… that I write regularly about sexuality yet talking about it can still be so awkward. I went to an artist’s seminar last week and just couldn’t bring myself to explain to the others what exactly I do… I just told them I “draw nudes” and left it at that. But at the art store, where I’ve started working part-time again, people seem to get it. When I describe what I do and why, they seem to recognize the need for it, and they want to know more. Last night my adult children, who are only a year or two into adulthood, were joking around about “the parents” (of which I am one of many if you count their boyfriend and girlfriends’ divorced and reconnected parents too) - and the comment that struck me as I was walking away towards the kitchen – was that the very thought of us “older people” having sex was gross.

I wish I could tell them how much better sex gets as you grow older and get to know yourself better and allow yourself to explore different avenues, which may include new partners, positions, conditions and even “props”. But particularly how much the contact with a lover deepens when you’ve practiced something so special for a long time together. I can’t tell them, and I won’t even try; they will figure that out themselves as they age and mature, each in their own special way.

Something that popped into my mind about this evolution was my vastly different experiences of sex in the middle of the night. First there were those teenage years, waiting for the parents to go out or fall asleep so my first boyfriend and I could desperately grope each other on the couch. And although I was much older, even early on in my relationship with Darren, we stayed up so late making love, sometimes night after night, that I remember dragging myself around like a limp noodle at work, yawning like crazy, and swearing I had to cut back but of course not really planning to… ever! 

wburgosmatos's picture

We are a nature masterpiece


FilthyGrandeur's picture

Gender, sexuality, and objectification in Lil Wayne's 2009 performance of "Lollipop"

This post examines the live performance of "Lollipop" from the 2009 "America's Most Wanted" tour. I think it's safe to say that the above video and this post are NSFW. The lyrics are explicit.

Please note that yes, I identify as a feminist, and as such will not tolerate "you can't be feminist and like rap music," for two reasons: 1). my feminism is not negated by my support or patronage of a genre of music in which I have no control, and 2). sexism and misogyny are not exclusive to the rap genre (I notice when I say I like rock music, no one says "omg but you're a feminist!" to which I can't help but think there's a touch of racism in there, which is also not to be tolerated). That said, enjoy the post.

I wrote a post yesterday discussing the Lil Wayne concert I went to Wednesday night, and in it I briefly touch on Lil Wayne's use of women in the show, and I wanted to delve further into presentations of gender in the performance, specifically in the performance of the hit "Lollipop."

Before I get to it though, you should all know that I love love love this song. I love how the words sound, I love the beat--and in this performance especially with the electric guitars. It's a wonderful work. I start this out with praise only because oftentimes people mistake my discussion of gender presentations as negative criticism, rather than what it is: pointing out what is right in front of you.

Laura Agustín's picture

Is swinging (not) part of the sex industry?

I have invited Laura Agustín to cross-post here and she has wonderfully accepted.  Many of you may already be familiar with her work at Border Thinking on Migration, Trafficking and Commercial Sex.  She writes clear and thoughtfully about sex work, migrant life and more.  I am certain you will enjoy her work as much as several of us here at SexGenderBody already do. -arvan

By Laura Agustín

Some people think swinging and polyamory have nothing to do with the sex industry and are offended to be associated with it. In my conception, swinging parties and sex clubs do form part of the industry, because money is exchanged for opportunities to have, watch, smell and listen to sex - one’s own and others. The managers of venues often provide possible partners for your pleasure - sex workers. And, on the other hand, many customers in sex-industry bars and clubs spend time and money without ever buying ’sex’ itself. The lines supposedly dividing these different entertainment enterprises are very blurred.

When people are offended by this inclusion, it means they think the sex industry is something negative. Since I don’t see it as negative, I’m not insulting anyone who’s associated with it. Rather, I’m engaged in figuring out how and why people think they can differentiate between commercial and non-commercial sex. As far as I can see, after studying it for many years, there’s no way to clearly separate them. Which is a result! It’s a result to find out that the separate categories they teach us about aren’t true, or are, at least, questionable. If you’re more interested in this, consider the cultural study of commercial sex, in its original conception and then later.

Morrissey’s original article moves from Ireland to Berlin and includes many entertaining details. Here I’ve excerpted only the bits most relevant to the sex industry.

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