It's nearly Halloween, and as every woman knows, that means we only have one option when it comes to costume choices: sexy.
But I don't want to be sexy.
My fiance suggested that we could dress up as Batman and Robin, which I thought would be fun. But I told him I wanted to be Batman. Which of course started a heavily gendered discussion.
First, a disclaimer: my fiance is wonderfully supportive. As I'm reading up on the ways in which privilege works, and discussing it with him, he's even been noticing it and pointing it out. He's also gotten really good at noticing gender roles and presentations, sexism, racism, etc. in shows, movies, and commercials. Sometimes I like to play a game, where I see a new ad on tv and after it's over, I look at him and ask, "Why do you think I'm angry about that?" He gets it right. And I know it's not easy recognizing privilege. I've been there. I'm still there. Because in recognizing the ways privilege works means that I have to give up that privilege, and there are times where it's like I'm having an internal battle. So I know that for a straight white cisgender man this is also difficult, because there's a lot of unpacking to do there. But it's all necessary.
