Annabelle River's picture

Personal-Space Boundary Stories


Something that happened to me a few days ago got me thinking about personal-space boundaries - both in the BDSM community and in everyday life.

I was on a busy train platform, reading a book and waiting for my husband to meet me to get on the train, when a stranger approached me and said, "Hello, I'm new here and looking to make friends."  I looked up, mildly annoyed, thinking he might have better luck if he were not interrupting people, perhaps somewhere more conducive to conversation than a busy train station.  After an awkward silence, he added, "I'm gay" - I'm guessing to clarify that he wasn't trying to hit on me.

"I'm waiting for someone," I answered.

"Oh," he said, looking disappointed.  "Well, if they don't show up, then maybe you and I could go somewhere instead," and he put his arm around my shoulders.

"No!" I said, loudly and clearly, and pushed him off of me.

He looked hurt and repeated, "I'm just looking to make friends" - and reached out to stroke my arm.  At which point I panicked and ran out of the train station, and took several long minutes of deep breaths before regaining the courage to go back to see if my husband had gotten there yet.

book of blue's picture

Night at the Casino

Water wall at the Grand Sierra, the former MGM Grand Hotel in Reno. Photo by Eric.

I’ve been here for nearly a day now, and I’m getting antsy to get to the Playa. Jeff is supposed to arrive any time. I did some shopping today – shorts, a sarong, a little drum. Later we’re planning to finish acquiring some last minute supplies, mainly food and water, and head out in the morning. Then, maybe visit a famous strip bar in town, Fantasy Girls.

Reno is interesting. It reminds me of what Las Vegas might have been like in the 1950s, when things were just getting started. Well, in some ways it’s pretty evolved. I’m staying in a massive hotel complex, with a mall and many restaurants and a vast casino, which was built as the MGM Grand in 1977. It’s changed hands half a dozen hands and is now owned by Chase. I didn’t know that my bank had invested my money in a casino. I learned this after asking the staff of the all-night deli how they liked their jobs.

They replied that they were on the culinary team (dressed in chef’s whites), working the register in a deli.

“Accountants run the business,” one of them said. They think they ‘save money’ doing it this way.

victorias sketchbook's picture

May Touch Redeem Us

This poem is from a beautiful little book about loving sexuality by Bill Noble called May Touch Redeem Us; Poems of Love and Eros and is printed with the author’s most

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