women

I took my 8 y/o daughter recently to visit the grave of my grandmother and grandfather.  They're buried in a little cemetery in Batavia, IL called Resurrection.  My daughter said it was too bad that we didn't bring flowers and I agreed.  I'm not much of a cemetery visitor myself, but there is something about flowers.

We agreed to bring flowers next time.

It took us about 20 minutes to find the headstones, which was comedic in itself.  I was sort of embarrassed that I didn't know where the markers were.  I mean, I really did spend a lot of time with "Gramma" when she was alive.  I haven't visited her grave since the day she was buried, 9 years ago.

As I lined up an 8 y/0 child with me into a search party for two rocks in the ground with names Donald andJane, I thought that it's probably a lucky break for me that I am an atheist.  I figured that if I believed that I'd be facing the spirits of the dead in an afterlife, they would chew my ass out for never visiting their tombs or at least bringing flowers when I did finally swing by.  Not to mention spending my remaining living years stewing over the guilt for my misdeeds.

As it was, I just passed the time watching my daughter pick up shiny things as an offering for the graves of her ancestors.  I wondered if I was a poor example of how to respect ones ancestors, but that was just my old Catholic guilt training flaring up like some scar from a childhood trauma.  In reality, the way to respect my ancestors is to live a life of dignity and honesty; to live a life worth living.  That's what they did and that's the only thing Gramma would want me to do, if she were here.  It's all she ever wanted for me.

Here is Nina giving the Keynote Address at the 2010 Annual Conference of the Desiree Alliance, Las Vegas, NV.

Another day, another list of shit women need to remember so men will like them.  The shit that gets published these days that is aimed toward women is getting increasingly preposterous and it is worrisome. Take for example this list comprised by the benevolent Amelia of The Frisky, a sometimes cool website. She wanted to know what men like best in women during sex, so she magnanimously interviewed "3 guy friends"  who spilled all their deepest desires.

Or something like that.

1. Tell Him What To Do: This was the most common request from the guys I talked to—they’re dying for a little instruction. Guy parts are different from girl parts and sometimes they need to hear what you want.

Oh women, we already know you are so worried about performing well in bed that you usually forget to focus on yourself and gettin' yours, so make sure to remember to tell him if what he's doing feels good! This will help him get better and perfect his technique, you know for the next time he has sex with someone else!

I found this today, in my Internet travels.  It looks good and I will love to read what they assemble. -arvan

“We can learn to mother ourselves.” Audre Lorde, 1983

All mothers have the potential to be revolutionary. Some mothers stand on the shoreline, are born and reborn here, inside the flux of time and space, overcoming the traumatic repetition of oppression. Our very existence is disobedience to the powers that be.
At times, in moments, we as mothers choose to stand in a zone of claimed risk and fierce transformation, the frontline. In infinite ways, both practiced and yet to be imagined,  we put our bodies between the violent repetition of the norm and the future we already deserve, exactly because our children deserve it too.  We make this choice for many reasons and in different contexts, but at the core we have this in common: we refuse to obey. We refuse to give into fear. We insist on joy no matter what and by every means necessary and possible.

In this anthology we are exploring how we are informed by and participating with those mothers, especially radical women of color, who have sought for decades, if not centuries, to create relationships to each other, transformative relationships to feminism and a transnational anti-imperialist literary, cultural and everyday practice.

Men must think I have some special powers or something because it is unbelievable how many sex questions I get from straight guys wanting to know how to please their lady. In fact it makes me giggle how admirable man are for coming to a lesbian for advice on sex. So this article is in honor of all my straight boys who have inspired and drove me on the quest to attain the most incredible mind altering orgasm!

Because you sweet lads want to make your ladies cum so hard that they pass out I thought it only fair I give the same information out to my wonderful Lesbian women… because after all we are talking about the vagina and Lesbians do love bowing to her grace and beauty (and screams!)

So let’s face it, there are a million if not more articles, books, videos, pretty much any media full of information that give you info on how to have an orgasm… and yet there are still ladies not achieving them and that is just not fair, so here is the low down on the down under.

More unnecessary and annoying outrage from the left  over President Obama's upcoming seat on The View's panel on Thursday.

One leading Democrat Ed Rendell, the Governor of Pennsylvania had quite a bit to say about Obama going on The View.

On why the President should not go on The View:

 the talk show did not have the required stature to host the president

On why the show isn't worthy of the President's status:

I think the president of the United States has to go on serious shows

For anyone wondering what exactly The View is, I'll run down the basics.  It is a show featuring an all-female panel targeted towards women.  The issues discussed range from politics, to current events, and the economy.  Most importantly however, is the show garners an enormous audience, most of which are women.

Warning: Graphic images and triggering language .

In response to the growing number of rape, sexual assault, un-planned pregnancies and contraction of HIV and other STI's, the practice of breast ironing is now on the rise, particularly in rural areas, of the African country of Cameroon.

Breast ironing is performed when a girl reaches puberty, the average age in Cameroon is 9. According to the BBC: "[breast ironing] involves pounding and massaging the developing breasts of young girls with hot objects to try to make them disappear". Hot rocks, hot shells and large, heated stones are among the tools used for this heinous practice. As the BBC article notes, international organizations are starting to take notice and of late, an concerted effort to stop the practice is now underway.

Video on breast ironing is posted within this article from HuffingtonPost.Com.

It is disappointing to know that the response to increased incidences of teen-pregnancy and sexual assault, is to physically alter young girls in order to dissuade the actions of men. It is as if these girls are responsible for the actions of men. Blaming girls' appearance for the increase of assault and unwanted pregnancy is something Western cultures regularly partake in. The next step of actually performing painful and life-altering procedures on young girls, is sad and very sick. It comes close to the practice of genital cutting, although not as graphic and painful. I sincerely hope to see the efforts of the organizations fighting to stop this practice, prove successful.

LaPrincipessa | Twitter | Email

(Posted at Women Undefined)

Ever feel at a loss? Are you completely consumed by life demands? At times it feels like we are on a stage and everyone is watching us fail! We have a sense of lose, as if it is within reach but like a toy that’s been taken by the ocean’s current it has slipped away.

Every relationship has left a trace, maybe even jaded our view of life and love to a point where even if perfection was to walk in it would seem impossible to see her! Or maybe even want her. Why want what you can’t have or ever keep.

You go out and every woman looks the same, every woman sounds the same, so familiar on the surface nothing has changed.  We have the same discussion with different faces and hear the same empty promises and speech of lost loves and new beginnings. 

We have become committed to finding a partner so badly that for most of us friendships have been put aside, until that someone comes along. Others of us have been in relationships where being with one another was sufficient and slowly isolated you from the world. Friendship, the unconditional love we have for what once was a stranger is the equivalent to oxygen in a healthy person.

(h/t @HunterSony)

Women in need of abortion services should, as a matter of international law and – frankly - human decency, be able to count on support from their government as they face a difficult situation. But in Ireland they are actively stonewalled, stigmatized, and written out.

Marianne Mollmann, women’s rights advocacy director at Human Rights Watch

(Dublin, January 28, 2010) - The Irish government actively seeks to restrict access to abortion services and information both within Ireland and for its residents seeking care abroad, Human Rights Watch said in a report released today.

The 57-page report, "A State of Isolation: Access to Abortion for Women in Ireland," details how women struggle to overcome the financial, logistical, physical, and emotional burdens imposed by restrictive laws and policies that force them to seek care abroad, without support from the state.  Every year thousands of women and girls travel from Ireland to other European countries for abortions.

"Women in need of abortion services should, as a matter of international law and - frankly -human decency, be able to count on support from their government as they face a difficult situation," said Marianne Mollmann, women's rights advocacy director at Human Rights Watch. "But in Ireland they are actively stonewalled, stigmatized, and written out."

The New York Times has an intriguing report about a drug that a German drug company has "stumbled upon" that purportedly will raise a woman's sexual libido. Call it Viagra for women. The FDA has been holding hearings about this new drug and ever since Viagra has been FDA approved, many in the pharmaceutical community have worked to turn low sexual libido in women into a medical pathological condition.  Whether you agree with that or not; whether you see this as damaging to women and women's rights world wide or not; there is no doubt that should this new drug pass FDA regulations and hit the market, there will be significant backlash from a variety of communities.

Due to current insurance regulations and laws, the administrator of insurance plans (ie: Blue Cross/Blue Shield or AETNA)  usually defer to employers to chose what is and is not covered under insurance plans they provide/offer to employees, after the base plan that is offered for a certain premium. If the company choses a self funded plan, the restrictions on what they do and do not cover are even less. This has in part, created the trend that sees employers creating exemptions that say birth control, abortions and several other women's health services as "medically unnecessary" or simply "not covered" .  Yet, there is almost always no restrictions on the coverage of drugs like Levitra, Viagra and Cialis.  Now, with the pending approval of a female libido-enhancing drug and the push to create the "low female libido" condition - there is no doubt insurance companies will cover such a drug.