American Attitude Towards Sex: Progressive or Oppressive?

LaPrincipessa's picture


In the above video, Tiger Woods is apologizing because he had sex with women outside of his marriage.

There are no doubt many reasons his story and his " fall from grace"  or whatever you want to call it, was such a sensation for months and months. Before he wrecked his car in an Ambien-induced stupor at 3 AM, Tiger was propped up as a social , personal and marital paragon of virtue and success.  In this way, he was literally set up to fail.

Humans are not perfect , the concept of a heteronormative , heterosexual and monogamous marriage is a recent "virtue" and damned if Tiger didn't try to live up to all society wanted him to be, but it was just too much. It is very obvious why the Tiger Woods Story is so hot, what isn't so clear is why sex, marriage and fidelity are still portrayed and perceived to be the moral way of existing.

Tiger's story is only the most recent example of this sexual norm, if you will. On the gossip site PerezHilton.Com, this video was posted in which a Fox News contributor states in the most derisive tone possible , " We've got Beyonce and Gaga as Gay , Lesbian lovers.. i mean it's disgusting Meg". I know, it's Fox News, what should we expect, right? But this woman is speaking to one of cable television's biggest audience. She's voicing opposition to the clothing in Gaga's video, question's the relationship between Beyonce and Gaga and says "we have to wonder if she has a male member or if she doesn't " in an apparent attempt to condemn the trans-gender community. Gaga's video is by no means perfect and I have several issues with it, but the "lesbian lover" relationship between the two main players is not one of them.

My point is that , any attempt to stray from the norm (Gaga's entire video or Tiger's sex life ) is portrayed and reported as "controversial" , "bad" or "sick". This stems of course, from Western society's cultural norms and social constructs creation upon Judeo/Christian platforms. The portrayal of the sex lives of individuals has shifted significantly in the past 60-70 years, and although talking about sex in the media/classrooms/wherever is more prevalent (which is a good thing it's not kept hidden like a shameful act or something) , there is still a negative portrayal of sex (between whomever).

We see this when an athlete like Woods is accused or "caught" paying an escort for sex. He's blasted for having to "pay for sex" and the escort is criticized as trash and usually worse (See Ashle Dupre and my response to her new sex column here ) . No doubt the escort is portrayed as the more evil party, but overall one person is in trouble from "straying" from their marriage and the other for providing the "means" to do so.

In my opinion , the media( all mass media ) should stop to ask "hm, what kind of relationship did Woods have with his spouse? Was it an open relationship? If not, is this a matter that should be left between them? Yes? Okay , we'll shut the fuck up now."

Of course, this would never occur in part because of the magnitude of Woods newly revealed "character flaw" (This is how he was portrayed not what I believe) and in part because the story was so amazingly unbelievable , a ratings magnet. Wood, Eliot Spitzer, or for fuck's sake even Heidi Fleiss are not evil people for soliciting or selling sex between consenting adults,yet all of these characters have been cast as immoral people which is oppressive in the most basic sense.

Back to the video about Lady Gaga's newest music video. Gaga and the creative directors were purposely trying to slam the sexual norms and gender constructs. I applaud their effort even if I think the final product fell way too short. This type of display works to dispel old school but still prevalent notions of sexuality and works to rearrange gender norms. It is not just Lady Gaga whose doing this either as more and more advocates for sex-positivism, advocates for sex education , and human rights activists across the globe are seen in mainstream channels. This is so important in the overall progression of our society from condemning sexuality to accepting it- moving from an sex-oppressive society to a sex - progressive one.

The guest on Fox News was asked "is this something our children should be seeing?"

The unequivocal answer is "yes , a thousand times yes"

LaPrincipessa | Twitter: @Sophiabiabia |

(Posted at Women Undefined)

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 Hear hear! Great article! 

Nio's picture

 Hear hear! Great article! 

Thank you

LaPrincipessa's picture

Thank you! 



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