Cosmo Gives Us The Guy Truth

EvilSlutClique's picture

As usual, Cosmo is here to solve all of our relationship problems. Check out this piece of advice from the April 2010 issue - it's from a piece called Guy Truth, apparently written by a guy, on a page titled The Guy Report in a section called Man Manual. So there's no way that this advice could possibly go wrong.

Q: I had a great date, but the guy said he doesn't want kids. Should I tell him that's unacceptable?

A: Um, no - just move on. But do you really want to ignore potential due to an offhand comment?

In only two short sentences, Cosmo manages to give two contradictory pieces of advice, both of them bad. It's almost impressive.

I will say that I laughed at the way the question was worded. It's not 'should I tell him that I do want kids?' or 'is it too early to talk to him about the fact that we don't agree on something this important?' or something like that. No, it's 'should I tell him that I will not accept the fact that he doesn't want kids?' But let's overlook that minor issue with the question so we can move on to the real fun in the answer.

Our advice in sentence one of the answer is to "just move on" without telling him that the reason is his "unacceptable" comment about having kids. Why bother with any of that pesky honesty or communication stuff, right? Just leave him hanging! Let him wonder what went wrong. It's the fun and fearless thing to do.

The totally different advice in sentence two is to think about not moving on because after all, this guy might have "potential", which shouldn't be ignored because of an "offhand comment". First of all, does 'I don't want kids' really qualify as an offhand comment? I mean, 'I don't like guacamole' is an offhand comment. 'I'm not a big hockey fan' is an offhand comment. 'I think Avatar kinda sucked' is an offhand comment. 'I don't want to have children' is a different story.

Oh, but wait. I left out the best part. The inset photo with this piece is of a male lion with a cub, and the caption says, "He's not wild about kids...yet." So that brings us full-on into 'hang in there girl, you can totally change his mind!' territory, and we all know that always works out for the best. Sure, it's possible that this particular guy might change his mind - we're not told his age or anything else about him that might help us determine how likely that is - but it's not that smart to advise Ms. Unacceptable to bank on Mr. Potential having a change of heart in the future.

So, let's review this advice. You shouldn't tell this guy that you won't accept the fact that he doesn't want kids. You should just move on. But you shouldn't just move on because he has potential, and potential apparently means the vague hope that someday he'll change his mind and decide that he's "wild" about the idea of having kids. At no time should you ever consider having an actual conversation with him about any of this. And all of this after only one date. Cosmo is truly amazing. I can't wait to read the follow-up article with the photos from the Unacceptable/Potential wedding.

[Jezebel is the co-founder of Evil Slutopia.  She doesn't want turkey unless it's a club sandwich.]

 

 
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communication, schmunication

arvan's picture
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Jezebel,

I swear that you are taking it on the chin for all of us who flee like rats from the mere sight of Cosmo.  Time after time, you pull out their most isipid and blockheaded efforts (if one can apply that word here) at advice and point out the gaping holes in thought, reason, self-respect & good judgment.

This particular nugget is a prime example.  You nailed the big "missing" in the whole exchange - communication.  Why talk to your date about something important?  That would ruin the whole night. 

As you pointed out - why talk to each other, when you can suppress that and ask advice to some magazine?  Seriously - if we talk to each other about the important things in our own relationships, then whatever will we use to gain anonymous notoriety in sexist marketing rags?

"Potential" is like a code word for a ton of really bad ideas. All of which, end up in failed relationships. 

- The idea of settling for a less-than spouse in the hopes of changing him/her.  That always works.

- Manipulating someone into being who you think they should be.  People love being changed.

- The subjugation of a woman's wants for how a relationship should look / be to that of the man.  The old standard.

I've avoided that magazine for my entire life.  Except for one issue:

I mean, c'mon - that's history, man.

Thanks to the tireless efforts of ESC, I can keep up with my subscription to Dental Office Magazine.

-arvan

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