Crossdressing and Leaving the House
My wife, mother, brother, best friend, cousins, sister-in-law and a ton of buddies and people on the internet know that I crossdress occasionally. I write about it in my blog and use it as fodder for my comedy material, but there is still one thing that sends shivers down my spine: leaving the house "en femme".
Nowadays it's no big deal when someone comes up to me and says, "hey, I saw your videos online where you're dressed as a woman." I usually respond calmly with a thank you and ask if they enjoyed them. They always say they did.
When I dress up, I am the same exact person, wacky and silly, never uncomfortable and I get in front of the camera with no anxiety at all. Yet, this all happens behind closed doors, where I am safe from ridicule and possible embarrasment.
It's not that I am ashamed of who I am, it's just a huge hurdle as I see it and I'm not so sure that I have the jumping ability to get over it. At least that's the way I feel now -- perhaps behind this giant hurdle are a bunch of progressively smaller hurdles, though I have no way of telling this now.
I have my wife's blessing but something is stopping me from leaving the front door. I'm not sure what it is, but hopefully I can overcome these fears sometime soon. I don't think the world will change at all if I roam about in drag, but perhaps my world will.
As I believe parody is one of the best forms of comedy, I did a video satirizing myself and my fear of leaving the house as Jessica. Perhaps making fun of myself will give me an extra push in trying to achieve this feat :).
Thanks for reading! :)