Music Makes the Moment (Or, I can't fuck to this shit)

The Ultimates's picture

We love Miami. It's one of the best swinger spots for a vacation. It offers everything a 40-something couple in the lifestyle could hope for, with one exception:  the music sucks. 

We try to attend the monthly Bella Vita Boat Club Naked Swingers Regatta in Miami at least once a year.  The Regatta is an amazing sex party held on a bunch of boats tied up off the coast of a tiny island near the mainland Miami.  We've been to Regattas where there have been as few as six boats or as many as 30 boats tied up together.  The party runs from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, and is attended by as many as 100 or more naked swingers.

The boats we've seen range in size from a small dingy to a 110 foot yacht.  The people are from all walks of life, including wealthy entrepreneurs and business owners, alligator hunters, doctors, lawyers, morticians, singers, ex-athletes, police officers, private investigators, stock traders, secretaries, nurses … you name it. And it’s that eclectic mix that makes for a fantastic, wildly sexy weekend every time.

Our first Regatta was a combination of delicious adventure and wicked embarrassment.  In order to be allowed to attend, we had to sign up on the Bella Vita web site, create a profile and write something interesting about ourselves. Most of the members of the Bella Vita Boat Club are couples and single women, but the organizers allow select single men to attend.  It's a private party, so everyone must be registered in order to join the fun.  If you're not on the list, you will be turned away.

We registered and created a profile.  Since we don't have a boat, we had to request a place on someone else's boat.  There is a special forum on the web site for people looking for a place to sleep, and boat owners offering a space on their boats. Finding available sleeping quarters proved easy, since so many kind and generous boat owners attend the Regatta.  We quickly received an invitation to stay on "Sebastian's Boat", no strings attached.  All we had to do was arrange to purchase our food and liquor and find a way to get to the pick up location (the dock).

We rented a car at the airport in Miami and immediately drove around to find a grocery store.  It didn't cost much to buy a couple of cheap styrofoam coolers, which we filled with ice, picnic food and liquor. We then drove to the rendezvous location (the dock) and waited for our ride to the Regatta.  A handsome young man in a sporty, fast boat waived at us from the pier, and we quickly introduced ourselves before loading our bags, coolers and selves onto his beautiful craft.  After about 30 minutes of speeding across the water, we saw several boats tied up together off the coast of a small island.  As we approached the gathering, my heart raced.  We knew nothing about these Bella Vita people except what I had read on the internet after doing a search for “swinger events in Florida.”   They seemed fun, but a few times the fleeting phrase "white slavery ring" drifted into my mind.

A blond, tanned man waived us in and directed us next to the last boat in the line.  We sat still as several people tied our boats together. There were at least 6 yachts tied up already, even though it was early Friday.  We were nervous, but impressed to see naked men and women walking from boat to boat with drinks and smiles.

Introductions were exchanged and we got settled in.  Fredrick, the blond man, introduced himself and his absolutely stunning wife, Barbie, who greeted us warmly.  They were the organizers of the Bella Vita Boat Club Regatta and the owners of the web site.  Even though they looked like movie stars, Fredrick's easy humor and Barbie's southern hospitality made us feel very welcome and comfortable right away.

We were stunned by the beautiful boats as they arrived, one by one, at the Regatta.  Sparkling, floating bars and cabaret rooms with cozy sleeping quarters and spacious places to party.  Massive yachts, sporty speed boats and even a few fishing boats all crammed together offering the promise of floating parties, sex and fun.

As night approached, several of the men swam to the island and started a bonfire.  With the glow of the fire, the free-flowing liquor and the music keeping time with the waves, sex was inevitable.  Groups of naked people gathered together, preparing for the orgies sure to start on various dive platforms.

We wandered from boat to boat, watching the play and listening to the moans and sighs.  All the visuals and audios were making us insanely horny so we found a hot orgy and joined in.  The rhythm of the boat as it bobbed on the water made the sex even steamier and, if it weren’t for the goddam hiphop bullshit they were playing on the stereo, we could have finished. But I was a little drunk and, as usual, bothered by monotonous noise most people in Miami mistake for sexy music.  Without thinking, I shoved some poor guy’s head out from between my legs and declared loudly, “I can’t fuck to this shit!”  Kevin looked shocked and humiliated. The party broke up immediately. 

We later found out that our host, Sebastian, had selected that particular music.  We were lucky to have a place to sleep that night. Fortunately, no one held it against us, everyone moved to another boat to finish, and I slept off the music and wine to play another night. And we’ve been back 4 times since. And everyone remembers us. But now they try to play torch music when we’re in town.

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this is brilliant writing!

arvan's picture

I love how you put this tale together: a coherent narrative mixed with your very human experience and your humor.  I found myself transported and completely sympathetic to your dilemma. 

well done! keep it up.

-arvan

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