Picking out a strap on

cleofaye's picture

Cross posted from Sex etc...

Strap on sex is one of the hottest things I've ever done. There is something about the ability to fuck someone else that is completely appealing to me. I'm a little excited that it's going to be our topic of conversation for the next couple nights. First, to clarify, we're talking about girl on girl strap on sex here. We will talk about strap on sex with boys (pegging) but that's fodder for another entry.

The first step of strap on sex is, well... buying a strap on. There are a lot of things to consider.
1. Harness-
    -Harness or harnessless - First you need to decide if you want to buy a dildo and a harness or one of those fancy double headed no harness dildos. (I have a review of the feeldoe, a really well known harness-less strap on coming later this week, but we'll just leave it at I'm not a fan for the moment.)
    -Material - Second you need to decide on the material for your harness. The two main choices out there are leather and nylon. I'm a vegetarian, but honestly, my harness is leather and I wouldn't have it any other way. Leather ages really well, is smooth against your skin, and really, it's just hot to wear leather in bed. The only major downfall is that leather tends to grow a bit when it's warm and moist (like a pair of tight jeans that are falling off by the end of the day), but a good tug on the buckle every once in a while, and you're good to go. Nylon, from what I've been told, doesn't grow and is pretty cheap, but every one I've seen just looks cheaply made and makes me think of my seatbelt chaffing my boobs during long car rides, really, it's just not for me.
   - Style - You also need to consider the style of harness you want to buy. There are two main styles out there. One with a T strap construction that attaches to the waist of the harness in the middle at both sides, coming down between your legs and back up. The other has more of a V style with two loops on the side to put your legs through. With the T strap, you can attach a small plug or vibe to it to stimulate yourself during your session. However, with all that movement, this style can chaff and ride up your ass. I prefer the V style because it leaves easy access to your vag, and I find it more comfortable.
    - Quality - Also, just keep an eye out for quality. You're an adult, you know what to look for. If it looks cheap, it probably is. Some things to look for: Two fasteners on the waistband, one a buckle, one a snap (This allows you to adjust the waist to your size, then snap it on and off without having to readjust every time.) and rivet fasteners. (These things can take a beating, so make sure to tug all the joints of the harness to make sure it won't come apart at an inopportune time.)

2. Dildo - Ok, so you've found the perfect harness, now you just need to find the right cock to fill it. Again, there are a bunch of things to think about. But before all that, I'm just reminding you that you need a flared base, but you knew that already right?
    - Size - Ok, so don't just think about yourself on this one. I had a girl I dated for a while who's only strap on dildo was the size of a coke can around. There was no way in hell I was letting that thing anywhere near my chuff. Yes it's fun carrying around a big dick, but if you plan on fucking someone with it, you're going to need something they can accommodate. Ask your clerk if you're unsure, but generally go for something in the middle of the shelf's display and you'll be fine. This is also something you can bring your partner to buy with you if you're planning on using it on one person exclusively.
   - Shape - There is everything out there from realistic, they look like they molded it from my ex type dildos to ones that are shaped for g spot stimulation to really basic phallic shapes. Realistic ones creep me the fuck out to be honest with you, but that's a decision everyone can make for themselves. Keep in mind that things like veins or a head at shape and texture to a basic toy, which can be more fun for those on the receiving end.
   - Material - There are five basic options you have for this, but honestly, I only really like one. Again this is a personal decision, but I'll give you the rundown and tell you why I opted out of everything else. Glass- too rigid, you could really hurt someone if you thrust wrong or pop out. Latex- I'm allergic. Cyberskin- a latex/silicone mix it starts breaking down after about a year and gets dirty really quickly. Jelly toys- One word: <a href="http://sexuality.about.com/od/sextoys/a/phthalates_sex.htm">phthalates</a> So I settled on silicone. It's durable, it's got give but not too much, it's sanitizable, and a lot of <a href="http://tantusinc.com">silicone toys</a> have a lifetime guarantee.
    - Vibe - Finally we have vibration. I've mentioned before that vibration really isn't my thing, but a lot of people really like it. There are two main ways you can do this with strap on sex. A lot of dildos come with a bullet vibrator inserted in the bottom. You can turn it on, strap it in, and you're good to go. A lot of strap on harnesses also have a pouch in the front for a bullet to be tucked in. Both of these techniques works well. The advantage being that you can turn it on or of or replace it with your own bullet, all depending on your mood.

So that's it. It's a lot to think about, and there are tons of different combos out there. A strap on isn't a lifetime commitment, and you can get multiple dildos or harnesses or both to fit your needs, and swap them out as you see fit. There's a world of possibilities out there, go out and find one that works for you. This is cleofaye, signing off with when in doubt, just ask, and when you're unsatisfied, give direction

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