So You Want to LOOK at SEX?

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posted by Victoria's Sex Blog

Sex means so many things to so many different people. For some, it's just a game, for others, it's private and sacred. For some it's an obsession, for others, a duty. Unfortunately, for many, good sex is too often just an unfulfillable fantasy and even more often we heavy-duty thinkers come to prefer our fantasies to reality when we feel unable to act on the dreams. My wish has always been that sex be a very real, respectful celebration of intimacy between people who truly care about each other... which does not exclude wild fun! 

What would happen if we took the focus on sex out of our minds and brought it into our bodies, then what? Would it result in uncontrollable, unmitigated debauchery? That is too often the instant conclusion we come to in “modern” society. Sex is most often equated with corruption, like nudity – especially in children - is automatically connected to exploitation. News flash everyone! WE ARE ALL NAKED UNDER OUR CLOTHES!!! Every single one of us: priest, nurse, clown, prostitute or rocket scientist… so why do we continue to make nudity and sexuality such negatively-connotated “sins”? Because we only focus on the abuse, not the beauty. Of course there are lots of historical reasons, too, but in this media-driven society sex sells, and that’s pretty much the only way that nudity and sexuality are ever treated,  especially visually -  to sell. Something. Anything. Everything.

That’s what we intimographers are fighting against. Bodily intimacy, sexual or non-sexual, can be pure, beautiful, and loving. WE WANT TO SHOW THAT. We want to, image by image, change the negative, exploitative pictures of sexuality that are burned onto our retinas into the beautiful truths about our bodies and or sexuality that we’ve simply lost sight of.  We are all born nude. We all have genitals. We are all drawn to be close to other people, emotionally and physically. Without contact we wilt like dry flowers. We were all conceived of a sexual act between a man and a woman.  None of that is going to go away. And love it or hate it, either is pornography… it’s too big a business.

But we can choose the way we see people and things, and the way we treat them. Today’s drawing is from an image taken from a porn site; as seen through the eyes of someone (me!) who believes it is also a visual representation of an act that can be shared with love! It’s like a translation… a removal of the ”dirty” veil that covers sex by drawing it into a loving reality.  My dream-fantasy that I’m finally acting on is to bring together as many images of nudity and sexual contact presented in a loving, accepting, non-exploitative way as possible… to create a new “body” of visuals about the body and sexuality from this perspective. That’s what the site is for (even if, for the time being, it still gets sent back to Victoria's Sex Blog).

I am working on this in between my day job and efforts to build an art-therapy practice for people with body-image issues, plus drawing as much as I can, and I need some help! If you are an artist with sexual images to propose, or you’d like to write about existing “intimate artwork” for the site, please let me know… right now I’m putting together a list of all the work significant to this cause that I can find and approaching authors for permission to regroup their images there. Please contact me if you can help! You can email me at

Thank you!  xoVictoria

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