Sometimes you just don't know till you get there

ChantelleAustin's picture

Well it was a night that didn't go to plan and I'm not going to go into detail but it highlighted something that I think other couples should be aware of.

Moving the relationship in a swinging direction, starting to invite others into your sex life is a big step and while it is super important to have conversations around what you are comfortable with and what you aren't, the true test isn't until you're both in the situation.

This can go one of 2 ways, it can be better than what you expected, you could watch your partner with another person and it can drive you wild; or when you see it, issues may come up.  While we had a more positive reaction to the whole experience, some don't.

Knowing it could potentially be a negative reaction to something that happens on the night, the couple need to have some way of communicating that to each other before it gets out of hand.  There needs to be checking in with each other to make sure both are ok with what's going on, and absolute honesty if something isn't sitting well for one of them.  

There has to be mutual respect; if one says they aren't comfortable with something, then whatever that is needs to be stopped and it needs to be communicated not only to the partner, but also the playmate/s so they know where the boundaries are.  If they are anything like us (and most are), we're more than happy to stick to whatever boundaries a couple have, even if they change on the night. We'd rather know so we can all have a good time, than have it end in tears.

Any insecurities in the relationship or in a person's self esteem will come out in this kind of situation, and while someone may think they'll be ok during all the talks/discussions under the sun, they really won't know for sure until they are there doing it, and that's an important point to remember.  Be gentle on yourselves and kind to each other if this happens, it's just an experience that lets you know what you need to work on before trying again...

...And that's just what I think :o)

(Taken from Chantelle's Diary http://www.chantelleaustin.com)

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love it!

arvan's picture

Thanks, Chantelle for standing in your life and sharing the lessons of honesty with yourself and your partner.

It's a real treat having you here.

-arvan

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