There's Nothing Wrong With Our Genitals

I‘ve had so many conversations with women who have felt that their genitals where deformed in some way or another, or at the very least not a representation of the status-quo. One person I know, had been told by an ex-sexual partner that her clit was quite predominant, which led her to question her genitals in a way that she had never considered before. When another friend was telling us how her inner labia hung lower than her outer labia, I started to question why mine didn’t do that. I wondered if my inner labia were too small. 

I’ve had many similar questions about my vulva: Was it too hairy? Where my lips too big? Was my clit too small? Was my pubic bone too prominent? How did it smell? How did it taste? From looking at my brother’s porn magazines, I determined that the entrance to my vagina had too many folds or that it looked wrinkly, or too stretchy, something I thought I was worsening by masturbating. Yup, I was concerned that my selflovin’ habits were going to make my pussy look prematurely old or used in some way. 

I’m not the only one, I know I’m not. This is a problem.

The anatomical representation we are shown in sex ed classes and the typical playboy layout just don’t cut it, not only do we need to expose ourselves to a wider representation of the human body, but we also need to work at dispelling the kind of myths that only work at disheartening the sexual self-esteem of countless generations of kids. There is still way too much fear when it comes to talking about your own body, and your sexuality with others. 

A fourteen year old girl who has a yeast infection, shouldn’t be at a complete loss as to what is happening to her or too embarrassed to talk about it with anybody else and/or to go see a doctor. I’ve never had a yeast infection, but when I was 12-13, I questioned every single vaginal discharge I had and despite all the literature I had been exposed to, I still had no idea what was supposed to be “normal”. 

Not long after I’d lost my virginity, I developed a sore about one quarter of an inch above the right side of my clitoral hood. It was about the size of a big marble. It hurt. The part which was apparent on the surface was red with a purple tinge. I was fifteen and I had absolutely no idea what the hell was wrong with me. There was no way in hell I was going to talk to my mother about it, because I thought I would have to tell her I was no longer a virgin and I didn’t want to deal with that. I told one friend about it. I was so scared. I remember the scene perfectly, she told me not to worry about it and that it was probably just a bruise or a pimple or something.

I didn’t believe that to be true, but I didn’t know how to explain myself. So, I never brought it up again and dealt with it on my own, which is to say, I did absolutely nothing about it. The strange bump lasted about two days, and then it burst open, one night when I was asleep, and it released a bunch of liquid. It healed itself and left a tiny little scar that you wouldn’t even notice unless I pointed it out to you. The thing is, I still don’t know what it was. I’ve subsequently been tested for STDs and my vulva has never again shown any similar sores.

I kept it to myself and I hoped it would just go away and even though it did, for a long time, I had this little nagging fear at the edge of my mind that I couldn’t silence. Nobody should live like that! It was probably just a cyst or an infected pore, but I will never know for sure, will I? I should have gone to see a doctor, but instead I lived in uncertainty and waited too long to do anything about it. 

We have to stop believing that their is something wrong with us!   There’s nothing “abnormal” about our genitals and if there’s something to be concerned about, see a doctor!