What is a Married Bisexual Woman?
A married bisexual woman is a woman that is bisexual and married to a man. (Women can marry women in some locations. However, my article focuses on bisexual women who are married to men.)
There are basically six different scenarios for a married bisexual woman.
1. She is in a monogamous relationship with her husband.
2. She has a husband and a girlfriend, and the husband is okay with it.
3. She has a husband and a girlfriend, and the husband doesn't know about the girlfriend.
4. She has a husband and dates women when she feels like it, with no commitment to any of the women, and the husband is okay with it.
5. She has a husband and dates women when she feels like it, with no commitment to any of the women, and the husband has no clue she's doing it.
6. She has a husband and a girlfriend, or she dates many women without committing to any them, AND, the husband is involved in the relationships.
She's a strange creature to many people, whether those people are straight or gay.
The core problem with being a bisexual woman comes down to the problem people have with bisexuals in general. Straights don't understand how you can desire both sexes. Gays don't understand how you can desire both sexes. We are told that we need to make a choice, that we're on the fence, that we're really gay and we just won't admit it to ourselves. Or, we're just seen as freaks that sleep with anything that moves. (I'm a swinger, so freak may as well be my middle name.)
"Bisexuals make people uncomfortable. Many people wish that we would just go away, or at least keep quiet about it, because they perceive our very existence as a threat to the social order. A declaration of bisexual identity often results in discrimination, hostility, and invalidation. Gay- and lesbian-identified individuals frequently view us as either confused or interlopers possessing a degree of privilege not available to them, and many heterosexuals see us as amoral, hedonistic spreaders of disease and disrupters of families." (Robyn Ochs)
As a married bisexual woman I am often asked by lesbian women and straight women, "But what about your husband?" "How does he feel about your being with women?" “How is that fair to him?”
Each time I explain to them that my husband has always been accepting of who I am. And, in addition to that, 99 percent of the women I have dated are also married bisexual women who have supportive husbands. As my husband said to me, "A lot depends on the husband's self esteem." And there's much to that. (My husband would not have married a bisexual if he couldn't handle it.)
According to Marriedgay.org, only 20 to 20 percent of marriages like mine survive. Well, of the many women I've dated, only one of them left her husband for a woman. The rest have been in loving, honest and healthy marriages, like I have, for very long time.
- For men and women who are gay, lesbian or bisexual and married to people of the opposite sex.
Jolie du Pre is the editor of Swing, Adventures in Swinging by Today's Top Erotica Writers