Where does a relationship go after swinging?

ChantelleAustin's picture

The other day it hit me, at what point does the relationship change from a "swinging" one, to something else? and at what is the something else?

Mr Wonderful has a regular girl that he mostly sees on his own (although last night it was all 3 of us for some of the play), and occasionally I see some guys on my own, so where is the line in the sand that says we are no longer swinging?

Now that we have others on our own, does that mean we are now in an open relationship? Another thought, where is the line in the sand going from Open to Polyamorous? And does my relationship really need a label?

At the very least it appears that there is a natural progression for people who have the personal capacity to go that far and it makes me wonder if that's where we'll end up?

My understanding (as it is before I research it), is that we're likely doing that right now, I feel that it's swinging when you are doing it together with other people, but once you start seeing others on your own then it becomes an open relationship. It becomes poly once there is a deep love factor for more than one and it becomes a more-than-two relationship on a permanent basis. I could be wrong but it's a diary entry, no research needed here!!

So I guess I've answered my own question, our relationship has once again evolved and there has certainly been new discussions, new feelings and new rules that also suggest an evolution has taken place. We still swing so I guess we can still say we're swingers, just now we are swingers in an open relationship! Wow, that's exciting... we've gone another step further than most people dare to go. Should we have a party to celebrate? A naked one? haha!

It seems this new relationship dynamic has taken us to a whole new level. We are talking more about how we feel and what we really think and want in regards to other people, so it's really a no-holds-barred conversation. We're also finding that we are more appreciative and grateful towards the other, I mean seriously, he lets me go and play with another sexy man on my own, I'm pretty grateful, PLUS he gives me his blessing!

We seem to be more attentive to the other persons needs; he'll check with me before making plans with her, he'll tell me what he'd like to do but will say "only if that's ok with you". We are both aware that this privilege is a huge thing so we are constantly checking in to make sure the other is ok, we both want it to continue but not at the detriment to our own relationship.

We are both feeling extremely lucky to have the other; to be given the freedom we have to enjoy life the way we do. We seem to be perfectly paired in a thousand ways and neither one of us can see how that could be replaced.

Mr Wonderful was laying in bed last night with 2 naked women, one on either side caressing and playing with him, saying "I love my life!", and I have to agree, I love my life too! How many other people have ALL their needs AND desires fulfilled in their relationships? Not as many as there could be that's for sure...

...and that's just what I think : )

(Taken from Chantelle's Diary at http://www.chantelleaustin.com)

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that's pretty awesome

arvan's picture

wow.  thanks for sharing an example of honesty, openness and understanding for all to see.

-arvan

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