Who am I, if I'm not me anymore?

We get older.  We all do.  If we're really lucky, we get a lot older.  Sooner or later, we die.  That is the way of things.  As I rise this morning, eating my breakfast, I turn my attention to this aspect of sex, gender, body that I was kind of avoiding: getting old. 

Age is just as much of a conversation about sex, gender, body as anything else.  It could be argued that no conversation about sgb, or identity can exist without the conversation of age being included.  One of the site rules at sexgenderbody.com is that no sex with minors is condoned or supported on this site.

As we age, we identify ourselves in different terms.  We shift how we view ourselves, how we wish others to see us and how we see others.  Age prejudice and labels are just as common as any other form of discrimination.  I don't know if any one form of discrimination gets more assistance or license than any other form, but age discrimination does seem to benefit greatly from a youth-worshiping society and many people's fear of dying.  Aging and the approach of death is uncomfortable for many to deal with.  It's why I was in no hurry to look at it myself.

Whether or not I include and embrace aging into the conversations of sex, gender, body - age is part of how each of us identify ourselves and are identified by others.  Plain and simple.

So, I took off looking for links on age, identity, sex, gender, body.  This is what I found for different search terms on Google.

Aging Identity:

A (discontinued) Journal of Aging and Identity.  Maybe the writing sucked or people really did not want to think about this and embrace it...just yet.

Lots of research papers & books, listed in scientific and research sites.  Some included a brief synopsis, but most were simply a publisher/author listing for someone to find the material.  One exception, Ageism, By Todd D. Nelson has a large amount of the book available online at Google Books.

Age Identity:

I found an awesome book on identity available free for download as a .pdf ebook: Identity in the Age of Cloud Computing, by J.D. Lasica.  In the first pages, a statement jumps out and will likely become a staple of this site (emphasis mine):

Identity—the very essence of who we are and how we interact with oth-
ers—is in the middle of a period of extraordinary tumult. The Internet
and a host of new communications technologies have transformed the
concept of identity and redefined our relationships to businesses, govern-
ments and constantly churning networks of friends and peers.

Growing numbers of digital natives now define themselves by their
Web presence as well as their real-world presence. Indeed, they move
seamlessly from their online to offline lives, and they expect to assert
who they are on their own terms.

Call it the audacity of self-identity. I am whatever I say I am.

More books with titles that seem relevant to the search terms and lots of links to help verify someone's status as an adult for online purchasing and viewing.

Senior Sex:

I found a plethora of MSN type tips for senior sex.  After looking at a few, they seem a bit patronizing and shallow.  Maybe that is a result of the MSM not wanting to really talk in great detail about anyone's sexual acts, much less those of seniors.  Or, perhaps it is a result of non-seniors writing, producing and narrating the information and the personal relevance is missing.

So, the Tom Green faux senior workout video seems as good a sampling as anything produced in earnest.  It points out the utter lack of communication we have about age, gender, sex & body just about as well as anyone could hope to do.

Gender Aging:

Bingo! I found a rock-star article over at Social Work Today, which I posted in its entirety while I was writing this article.

I tried many more search terms, with largely the same result: a lot more research papers, books and committees, but not many bloggers or social sites to speak up and speak out.  So, maybe today's seniors are on the other side of the digital divide.  Maybe they would be glad to speak up, but nobody younger than them want to hear about aging or dying.

Maybe I simply don't have enough information to make any intelligent statements whatsoever.

I would love to have some diarists here at this site, to discuss how they identify themselves in terms of age, sex, gender, body.  If you know someone with something to say, with a blog, willing to share their voice - please send them to this site.  We all need to hear this conversation because it is about all of us.

-arvan