Why don't women like seeing men together?

ChantelleAustin's picture

I mean, I LOVE seeing guys together, but I have to admit that it wasn't always that way and I have a few thoughts on this but it seems there are 3 main reasons women don't like seeing men together:

1. They just don't, they've seen it and know it's not their thing and that's fine. Some people like chocolate covered banana's, some don't, it's just the way it is! Mmmm, chocolate...

2. We're not exposed to it so for the most part we don't know if we like it or not, and since it's not generally seen as acceptable, there are less opportunities to witness it.

3. We've somehow been taught that it's disgusting or unnatural, and not something we should be subjected to.

Now if women fall into the first category, no problem, each to their own and power to them if they know what they do and don't like, but at least they have experienced it to have an opinion.

I was in the second category since it was something I'd never seen; it was not promoted as a hot thing to witness and subsequently I wasn't sure how I would go if I saw it. When I finally did see it, my body reacted before my brain could process what was going on, and it was a very positive reaction that got more intense... my conclusion? I must have liked it. And then I think I just about fell over the first time I saw Mr Wonderful kiss a guy - I just went all weak at the knees!

I think there are a great many women who are in the same category; I come across heaps who say they just aren't sure and they've never seen it. I've also met other women that like seeing guys together as long as it isn't their man and then the opposite too. If it was more socially acceptable I think more women would find it as much of a turn on as I do... It also means some women will know it's not a turn on for them but meh, I'd rather know :)

Then you have the third category which can be a hard one to get out of. Firstly, I disagree that anything should be taught as "wrong" unless it's hurting someone else or being done to someone who is either too young, or for whatever reason, unaware of what is being done to them... I'm sure there are other things I might consider wrong but that about covers it, men playing together certainly isn't one of them and it's a real shame that people are learning otherwise.

This kind of thinking is what causes guys to keep their bi-ness to themselves; some go out and play up on their wives to fulfill their needs, often because their wives have reacted negatively to the suggestion or made comments to suggest that's the case. Some never tell a soul and are never truly happy, some even become depressed because they can't do anything about it and how fair is that? I would never want my husband to only be part of who he is... I love him enough to want to see him shine!

If I could wave a magic wand, everyone would accept people for who they are, sexuality and all. Then everyone could have the courage to be who they are, be free from the guilt and shame around their sexuality and fully love the person in their lives... Oh, then more of us girls who like seeing guys together could get together and enjoy the stimulating sensations we get from watching super hot man nakedness with other man nakedness... Popcorn anyone? Bring your own camera :P

It's time for the women who don't know how hot this is to find out if they like it or not! Surely there are more women out there like me... I'm not that strange! Am I? lol

...And that's just what I think :o)

(Taken from Chantelle's Diary - http://www.chantelleaustin.com)

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thanks for asking this one, Chantelle!

arvan's picture

As a bisexual male, I find a lot of limiting conversations regarding the idea of two men being together sexually.  It seems that a lot of the swing community is OK with bi-women, but not so much so for bi-men.  There are exceptions, of course and the trend does seem to be more inclusive of bi-men. 

Often, I am told that bi-men are "really gay" but are somehow... (insert reason). 

I take this all to be remnants of the patriarchal model.  The established pecking order of dominance, control and value which are all attributed to masculine (man fucking women) behavior.  The labels and conventional values seem to indicate that somehow, we need to label people in order to know their value. 

I think therefore, that a common view of men with men is that it somehow means that those men are 'woman-like' and need to be vilified in order to put them down to some lower social status.

This is all in flux and the old rules, assumptions, values and social strata are constantly being redefined.  It's one of the reasons for this site, in fact. 

These days, I find more women turned on by men having sex with each other than I ever knew of before.  I am sure that even more will like it tomorrow.  My wife loves gay porn.  It gets her hotter than any other kind.  I had a conversation with a friend in a swing relationship and she told me that she would like to see men together.  So, the acceptance and desire of women to see men together is growing.

Like the rest of these conversations of acceptance around sex, gender, body - women's appreciation of male sex is fighting its way through disinformation, prejudice and ignorance.  However, it is trending positively.


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