Am I a Slut If I Particpate In a Gang-Bang?

ChantelleAustin's picture

I recently participated in a gang bang and I have to admit to having a minor mental struggle with doing it. Would it make me a “slut” by doing it? What did it mean about me? And if I shared the information (as I tend to do), would people see me differently.

I had to wonder why I was struggling with it to begin with being someone who is out about what I do; was the struggle valid? I’m sure there are other women (and possibly men) who are having the same thoughts and feelings.

Firstly I had to work out what my definition of “slut” was and why it bugged me to be labelled as such.

I asked my fellow Twitter followers for their opinion and they confirmed my definition; it’s a person who will have sex with anyone and everyone regardless of who they are. I’ve been programmed to believe that this is not a good label; that it means you are someone who has no self-respect or morals. Not that I think I don’t have morals, I do, just more relaxed than some ☺

The self-respect part really got me though, would a self respecting woman enter into a gang-bang? Girls programmed from a young age to behave like a “lady” and that comes with a list of things that lady’s do and don’t do. Self respect was one of them, because if you don’t have self respect, then others don’t respect you, right?

Well there is a part of me that wants to be respected, as both a professional and as a woman, actually a big part of me so to do something that might compromise that bugged me.

But the real question is, by participating in a gang bang does that make me a slut? Well I came to the conclusion that no, I’m not a slut and the deciding factor for that is that I’m selective. I won’t sleep with just anyone and while I got to enjoy 6 guys on the night, there were a few that wanted to join in that I said no to.

We get approached by lots of single guys and it's probably only about 1 in 20 - 30 that we actually play with (which is not many), I just know what I'm looking for and what I like in a playmate. I don't play with people just because they are there or because they want to.

When guys ask me extremely personal questions (and just incase you were wondering, no, they generally don't have any tact) or ask for naked pictures of me (again, no tact), I’m the first one to let them know that's not how we play the game, and if they don't get it, we don't bother with them.

I might be a swinger and engage in sex with people other than my husband but that doesn’t mean I don’t have standards, self respect or professionalism. And it's no excuse for others to treat me with any less respect or manners either so I'll let them know so...

All behaviours of a self respecting woman in my book.

So, my conclusion is that no, I’m not a slut…. I’m just adventurous and I encourage other women to be adventurous by exploring their sexual selves too.  They don't need to participate in a gang bang though and to be completely honest, now that I've done it I have to say that I prefer more intimate settings but at least I tried it and now I can tick it off my list (along with a few other things hehe)...

Here's to your sexual evolution!


(Taken from

Your rating: None


I wish we could all stop the slut shaming.

EvilSlutClique's picture

One small hypocrisy in this post irks me: You don't want to be judged merely by your sexual behavior, nor do you want to be held to someone else's set of standards. However, the deciding factor for you was whether or not you were "selective", therefore judging anyone who isn't? 

Instead of pointing out the ways that your behavior can be differentiated from that of an actual slut... why not address the issue of why people feel the need to police women's sexuality in the first place? By saying that anyone who isn't as selective as you are or who has a different set of morals than you do is a slut... you're no better than the people who would call you a slut for participating in a gang bang.

You are owning your sexuality and doing what you want BECAUSE it is what you want (and not because you are supposed to/not supposed to). If that makes you a slut in someone's eyes that's their problem, not yours. It's better to be a slut in their judgmental eyes than a fraud in your own. Embrace it and reclaim it - if a slut is someone who does what they want for the right reasons, then YES, you ARE a "slut" and there's nothing wrong with that.


Syndicate content
Powered by Drupal, an open source content management system