arvan's picture

The Enemies of Sex

I can say "Fuck you!" in public, but I cannot (with your permission) actually fuck you in public.

Have you ever wondered why is it that a statement of sex as an insult between people who don't like each other is a protected right, when the actual performance of sex as an act between two people who like each other is prohibited? 

Why is sex profane?  This is not something that comes from nature.  Sex is one of the basic needs of all mammals, along with air, water, space, warmth and food.  So, it doesn't come from our DNA, which means that we made this shit up.  Sex is free.  Sex feels good.  Societies across the globe discourage us from having sex, talking about sex, thinking good things about sex, being proud of sex.

The opposition to sex is so widespread across human cultures, that it seems universal, but is it?

How many people live inside a culture that vilifies sex, while personally holding different and more accepting views?  I'd venture to say that it's a majority.  At some point we all feel moments of sexual desire.  In sexually repressive social settings, we hide our true views on sex in order to avoid retribution.  This could be public shaming, beating, ridicule, disapproval and even killing.  Here's a hint: gay porn and MTF trans porn are the two biggest revenue generators online.  Cis-gendered heterosexual men are the people with the money and they are the people getting off in private to sexual images that society won't let them have while retaining the privilege of being cis-het men.

arvan's picture

Kusum - The Flower Bud

Director: Shumona Banerjee

Synopsis: Can hope be found in the most unusual places amongst the most unlikely characters?  A young transvestite prostitute, Kusum, locked up in her room, gears up for a regular night like any other. But just then enters Purab, an out-of-a-job English literature teacher suffering from Tourette's syndrome and obsessive-compulsive behaviour, without a clue of the local language.  He spent his meager savings to spend one night with a girl, and finds himself stuck with a boy!  On the other hand, Kusum is at a loss with this man who seems to her a "freak" madly going about cleaning her room while throwing things at her in the middle of the night and insisting on blabbering in English!  Both can’t understand what the other is saying.  But as the night proceeds, insecurities, appearances and prejudices slowly give way, but just a little. Will these two people, alike as desperate misfits but otherwise so different, manage to find a connection?  Perhaps like a flower bud bursting through a crack in the wall, an unexpected beginning will see them through....

arvan's picture

HIV prevention for sex workers by sex workers in Kenya

NAIROBI, 11 August 2010 (PlusNews) - By night, Viviane Muasi, 25, is a sex worker in Kenya's capital, Nairobi, but when not canvassing for clients, she spends much of her time convincing other sex workers to test for HIV and use condoms.

Muasi, a sex worker for nine years, is a peer educator with the Sex Workers Outreach Programme (SWOP) - a project run by the University of Nairobi and Canada's University of Manitoba.

"Initially when I came to Nairobi, I was employed as a house-maid," she told IRIN/PlusNews. "I was being paid little, so another woman introduced me to sex work and told me I could make more money."

For us, by us

Through the SWOP programme, Muasi and her fellow educators have enabled more than 3,000 of their Nairobi peers to get tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

"We know each other and where they [the sex workers] live, so you just visit them at home and ask them to create time and go to the clinic," Muasi said. "They now have skills to negotiate condom use with their clients... we don't want to be infected and we also don't want to infect anybody.

"At first, the police would just round us up and force us to go for [HIV] tests; many commercial sex workers used to hide," she added. "But today, because the call to test comes from one of their own, they have embraced it."

arvan's picture

Red Umbrella Diaries Blog Carnival - Call for Participants!

Greetings, Red Umbrella Diaries fans!

I wanted to let you know that the new call for participants for the Red Umbrella Diaries Blog Carnival is open!

For the next event, which takes place on September 2, the theme is Demand Side.

Here’s a little something to get you started thinking:

Sex workers get all the attention for their exciting, messed up, complicated lives, and everyone wants to know: what made you do this? But what about the patrons, without whom there would be no business?

I’m looking for pieces of writing by sex industry clients, stories from sex workers about their clients, and analytical pieces that turn the lens on the demand side of the business.

Send me a piece that is up to 700 words long, and I’ll pick my favorite to read at the event – and of course then I’ll put the recording in the new Red Umbrella Diaries audio podcast.  Your piece can be previously published on your own blog or elsewhere, or you can conceal your identity and email me a piece that you can’t put your name on.  The themes can be interpreted all kinds of different ways, I love to see creativity.

Send your links or text to by August 15th.

I would love it if you would consider forwarding this out to others that might be interested, post it on your blogs, tweet or facebook the information, or otherwise send it out into the world!  The participation grows each month, and I'm very excited about the submissions that we're receiving.  And as a reminder - the writing can be from blog entries that are years old, or short essays or stories written months ago; it doesn't need to be written specifically for the blog carnival, as long as it fits the theme.

The direct link to the website is:

Audacia Ray
Blogs: *
Advocacy: * *
The Red Umbrella Diaries:
Videos: *

arvan's picture

Nina Hartley, Adult Film Director, Actor, and Sex Educator at Desiree Alliance 2010

Here is Nina giving the Keynote Address at the 2010 Annual Conference of the Desiree Alliance, Las Vegas, NV.

LaPrincipessa's picture

Via Buzzfeed: Tickle My What?!?

Alright, I have to admit, I have become compulsively obsessed with The website is hilarious and the content is even more so. I love it completely.

This new video titled, "Tickle my Vagina" is sure to go viral by the end of tonight. I can't describe it any better than the title does, so just listen and watch.

Is this every woman's new summer anthem? (Lyrics def. not safe for work, beware)

LaPrincipessa | Twitter | Email

(Posted at Women Undefined)

LaPrincipessa's picture

The Frisky Lists Stuff Men Want Women To Do In Bed

Another day, another list of shit women need to remember so men will like them.  The shit that gets published these days that is aimed toward women is getting increasingly preposterous and it is worrisome. Take for example this list comprised by the benevolent Amelia of The Frisky, a sometimes cool website. She wanted to know what men like best in women during sex, so she magnanimously interviewed "3 guy friends"  who spilled all their deepest desires.

Or something like that.

1. Tell Him What To Do: This was the most common request from the guys I talked to—they’re dying for a little instruction. Guy parts are different from girl parts and sometimes they need to hear what you want.

Oh women, we already know you are so worried about performing well in bed that you usually forget to focus on yourself and gettin' yours, so make sure to remember to tell him if what he's doing feels good! This will help him get better and perfect his technique, you know for the next time he has sex with someone else!

Alex Karydi's picture

I want to Sweat, Scream & Cum until I pass out!

Men must think I have some special powers or something because it is unbelievable how many sex questions I get from straight guys wanting to know how to please their lady. In fact it makes me giggle how admirable man are for coming to a lesbian for advice on sex. So this article is in honor of all my straight boys who have inspired and drove me on the quest to attain the most incredible mind altering orgasm!

Because you sweet lads want to make your ladies cum so hard that they pass out I thought it only fair I give the same information out to my wonderful Lesbian women… because after all we are talking about the vagina and Lesbians do love bowing to her grace and beauty (and screams!)

So let’s face it, there are a million if not more articles, books, videos, pretty much any media full of information that give you info on how to have an orgasm… and yet there are still ladies not achieving them and that is just not fair, so here is the low down on the down under.

LaPrincipessa's picture

In Cameroon, Breast Ironing On the Rise to Stem Sexual Assault and Pregnancy

Warning: Graphic images and triggering language .

In response to the growing number of rape, sexual assault, un-planned pregnancies and contraction of HIV and other STI's, the practice of breast ironing is now on the rise, particularly in rural areas, of the African country of Cameroon.

Breast ironing is performed when a girl reaches puberty, the average age in Cameroon is 9. According to the BBC: "[breast ironing] involves pounding and massaging the developing breasts of young girls with hot objects to try to make them disappear". Hot rocks, hot shells and large, heated stones are among the tools used for this heinous practice. As the BBC article notes, international organizations are starting to take notice and of late, an concerted effort to stop the practice is now underway.

Video on breast ironing is posted within this article from HuffingtonPost.Com.

It is disappointing to know that the response to increased incidences of teen-pregnancy and sexual assault, is to physically alter young girls in order to dissuade the actions of men. It is as if these girls are responsible for the actions of men. Blaming girls' appearance for the increase of assault and unwanted pregnancy is something Western cultures regularly partake in. The next step of actually performing painful and life-altering procedures on young girls, is sad and very sick. It comes close to the practice of genital cutting, although not as graphic and painful. I sincerely hope to see the efforts of the organizations fighting to stop this practice, prove successful.

LaPrincipessa | Twitter | Email

(Posted at Women Undefined)

arvan's picture

Asuda Press Release on FGM in Kurdistan

The dissemination of Human Rights Watch report on 16 June 2010 on FGM and the reactions by activists and NGOs to the report initiated a controversy about the issue.  Also, in the last couple of days and on 6 July 2010, the Association of Islamic Clerics in Kurdistan issued a “Fatwa” on FGM in which parents [or guardians] of girls were given the choice of conducting FGM to their girls.

Following reactions and pressure on Muslim clerics with respect to the “Fatwa”, the Association of Islamic Cleric in Kurdistan issued a clarification which states “No clear text in Quoran stipulates FGM as a duty or Sunna”, however, in paragraph 4 of the same clarification statement says:

“The summary of the Fatwa of Kurdistan High Commission of Fatwa believes, parents [or guardians] have the choice to conduct or refrain from conducting FGM, this freedom of choice is not absolute, but conditional until it is proved that FGM causes immediate or long term health damage to mutilated girls, then they may not go ahead with FGM”.

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